


The Stars Cross

by DivineNoodles



Series: The Stage of Our Dreams [1]
Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Action & Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Chisato Shirasagi Needs a Hug, Drama (of both theater and non-theater varieties)!, Everything in Moderation~, F/F, Lesbians with Swords - Freeform, Lyricism!, Sonnets!, revue starlight au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22941748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivineNoodles/pseuds/DivineNoodles
Summary: Years ago, they made a promise to stand upon the stage together before time brought them to drift apart -- only to once more meet in their adolescence. Yet when stars cross in the sky, only misfortune can follow...At least, that's what Chisato always believed.
Relationships: Seta Kaoru/Shirasagi Chisato
Series: The Stage of Our Dreams [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1752232
Comments: 33
Kudos: 109





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's Kaoru's birthday so I wrote a fic about Chisato :> (It's okay that's what Kaoru would want)
> 
> Btw if you're wondering if you need extensive Revue Starlight knowledge to grasp this AU you shouldn't! Just knowing the basic concept is enough to get enjoyment out of this... I think.
> 
> UPDATE 4/16: I've broken this work up into multiple chapters. If you've read it before, there's no new content to be seen, sorry! But hopefully this makes it a little more readable.

The curtain rises.

~~~~~

> _The stars cross, and tragedy is woven._
> 
> _A castle made of galaxies and glitter, dreams and daytime, skies and starlight. Its spires twirl up high into the heavenly firmament that twinkles above, grazing the night with the gentlest of touches. The walls loom large and curved above a moat of milky way, equally inviting and dissuading to any who’d pass by. Its balustrades and overhangs gleam in all the colors of the cosmos, draped over with the blues of comet tails and the deep orange of red giants. From here all the universe appears encapsulated within a single jewel; an opal of infinitely more colors than the most resplendent rainbow._
> 
> _It’s as grand a sight as any could ever see. The zenith of all the world. And from its apex stands a princess of eyes as magenta as the nebulae and hair as golden as the sun, the brightest sun any had ever laid eyes upon._
> 
> _The Princess of the Stars, Estelle._
> 
> _From her perch, Estelle’s smile illuminates all the billions of suns sprinkled all throughout the universe, from the smallest dwarves to the largest supergiants. Every day she rises to the top of the sky and lights the azure for all to see, and every night she sinks to let her vassals twinkle on with their borrowed glows. And lo, to behold her in person! A luminescent being who glitters with every footstep; shimmers with every movement; dazzles with every utterance. Her locks, like silken sunshine that refract the lights of the ether in every hue… her pinkened lips, filled with the most bountiful laughs… her eyes, fine-cut rubies that sparkle with a knowing worldliness… a truly effulgent being, drawing all gazes towards her and her alone: a blazing presence that illuminates all within her periphery with sheer brilliance._
> 
> _And yet, unbeknownst to all the trillions of souls that admire her, such brilliance is not her own. For behind her smile that lights all of existence lies a lonesome spirit, locked in her keep with nary a companion to confide in, a girl who smiles out of duty rather than sincerity. When night comes and she retreats into her castle alone, she does little but wander about with morose gaits, staring above at the stars that still gleam with her brightness. But she cannot ever abscond: for if she did, all the lights in the universe would snuff out, leaving behind a night as black as pitch._
> 
> _So she stalks the halls quietly, from the crystalline gardens to the winding spires, beholding all the birds and squirrels and hares that accompany her with mournful sighs, looking out into the ebon infinity and wondering if she would ever know another soul._
> 
> _So she continues. Day after day, week after week, month after month…_
> 
> _Until the day when, strolling about her gardens, she comes across a most curious creature, asleep in the rosebushes: a girl, not dissimilar from herself. Only this napping one doesn’t shimmer and shine with an unfathomable brilliance… rather, she is a meek being, small of frame and short of stature, with hair the violet of a distant galaxy that splays all across her tiny face. It’s such an adorable sight that, unconsciously, Estelle begins laughing, stirring the little princess awake._
> 
> Wh-Where am I?
> 
> _Estelle smiles._ Don’t be afraid. You simply ended up in my garden.
> 
> _The other princess quivers with nervousness._ I-I’m so sorry! I was looking for the Princess of the Stars, and somehow I must have ended up here…
> 
> _Estelle considers telling her who she was, but holds off for a moment – after all, how often did she get to hold conversations with someone else?_ What is your name, little one?
> 
> _The other princess stands and straightens up._ I am Celeste. Do you know where I can find the Princess?
> 
> I do not. I am just a simple handmaid by the name of Estelle. Do you want me to show you the way out?
> 
> Perhaps in a little while. _Celeste looks all about the garden, at the diamond daffodils and crystal chrysanthemums and amethyst amaryllises, captivated equally by each._ I’ve never seen a place like this… do you live here?
> 
> Yes. All by myself.
> 
> All alone? Then whose handmaid are you?
> 
> All the world’s.
> 
> All the…? I don’t understand.
> 
> You need not to. _Estelle stifles a giggle._ How about you? Where do you live?
> 
> Outside, in a little burg of a solar system not far from here.
> 
> By yourself? You seem such a timid thing.
> 
> _Celeste grows flush._ It’s true… I hardly have an ounce of courage within me. But I hoped that if I got to see the Princess, then I might be inspired by her brilliance.
> 
> _Estelle knew such types before – those who would prostrate before her appearances on the balcony in search of a muse. Perhaps it’s time to tell the truth._ Very well. I can show you to where the Princess is.
> 
> H-Hold on a moment _._ What about you? Are you to remain here all alone?
> 
> _Estelle is taken back by such a question._ Don’t you care more about your Princess?
> 
> P-Perhaps… but… _Celeste’s gaze, the red of an eclipsed moon, bore into her own._ I can hardly abandon you when your eyes look so lonely.
> 
> _Estelle’s heart swells with an unusual feeling: one that she cannot name, because she’s never known it before._ Then… would you like to talk for a while?
> 
> _Celeste smiles – it is not resplendent or dazzling or world-brightening, but it strikes Estelle all the same._ Please!
> 
> _And so the two stroll through the gardens and chatter away, the knowledge of Estelle’s identity kept firmly under wraps. They speak of the birds and beasts that roam the lawn, the blossoms that dot the overhangs, and all the millions of stars that flicker in the night above. They talk on, and on, and on, until the predawn comes, and Estelle realizes that she must prepare to return to her position. She shows Celeste to the rear wall and bid farewell, expecting to treasure this sole memory for as long as she lived… until…_
> 
> I’ll come again.
> 
> _Estelle’s head swerves around, her eyes wide in disbelief._ You will?
> 
> _Celeste nods earnestly._ When night comes again… we’ll meet and speak more.
> 
> _A laugh._ I look forward to it.
> 
> _And as Celeste grins and disappears over the garden wall, Estelle realizes that she’s grinning, too. Not out of duty, but sincerity._
> 
> _True to Celeste’s promise, she comes every night to speak with her._
> 
> _Estelle learns many things about the girl. For one, she’s hardly a bright one – she at one point attempted to pluck a rose from the garden, only to cut her hand on the thorns. She isn’t very resilient, either – she began sobbing profusely upon seeing her finger sliced open, taking five minutes to calm herself. And yet, she bears a sentimentality and sweetness that is unmatched – because she wanted to pick the rose for Estelle’s sake. And such pure intentions make Estelle’s heart blossom._
> 
> _Yet as each night passes by, and Celeste bids farewell so that Estelle can return to her perch, she fears that her secret will slip, and that Celeste will learn of her identity and worship her just as everyone else does. So she keeps it tight to herself, locked away in her heart, afraid to speak of the Princess of the Stars in conversation lest Celeste’s interest grow._
> 
> _And yet, the truth cannot remain hidden forever._
> 
> _One dawn, out of sheer curiosity, Celeste hops back over Estelle’s wall, wondering how the girl occupies herself in the daytime. So she tiptoes quietly, following Estelle to the parapet, until she witnesses it for herself: that magnificent brilliance, so radiant that she feels her retinas scorch at the sight. Instinctively she attempts to flee, but it’s too late – Estelle hears her footsteps, and her heart sinks as she watches her dear friend run from her, unable to give chase._
> 
> _She expects no visitation that night. But Celeste shows up at the same time as ever. Estelle sits quietly in the middle of the garden, her fingers dangling the stars above her._
> 
> …Why did you come? Don’t you know who I am?
> 
> _Celeste approaches, her eyes downcast._
> 
> Or is that why you’re here? _Estelle cranes her neck._ To pay respects? To marvel at my brilliance?
> 
> _Celeste shakes her head._ I-It’s not that.
> 
> Then what?
> 
> …There’s that look again.
> 
> _Her chest clutches._
> 
> That… That loneliness.
> 
> _Estelle can’t bear to look at her. She curls up her legs and hugs her knees, unspeaking._
> 
> _And then, Celeste mumbles…_
> 
> …I-I’m lonely, too.
> 
> _The stars above glow, the thread connecting them wrapped around all of Estelle’s fingers in butterfly loops._
> 
> But… t-talking to you, I feel like… I have a friend.
> 
> _Starry rain hits the garden floor._
> 
> Did you… think of me as a fr-friend, too?
> 
> _Estelle is barely able to choke out her response:_
> 
> Of course I do. You’re… the first friend I’ve ever had.
> 
> _The rain continues. And yet, their smiles reflect the deep blue above, each glimmering with its own genuine shine._
> 
> E-Est…*hic*
> 
> Celes…
> 
> _They exchange no more words._
> 
> _They simply embrace._
> 
> _From that day forward, Estelle tells Celeste everything._
> 
> _The struggles of her obligation. The daily pains of bearing the universe’s light. The listless helplessness she feels from knowing that hers is a position she can never escape. And Celeste listens, the only one who can comfort her._
> 
> _And when she does, she says the last remarks Estelle expected._
> 
> You’re incredible, Est. I could never be as strong as that…
> 
> _A weak chuckle._ I don’t know if it’s strength. I think it’s lack of it, actually… if I were really strong, I would figure out a way out of here.
> 
> No! To be able to light up the whole universe is… well… it’s incredible! I can’t even light up my own home.
> 
> _A big belly laugh._ I don’t think you need to worry about that, Celes.
> 
> St-Still!
> 
> _Truly, being able to vent is comfort enough for Estelle. Even having someone to speak with is its own kind of relief. Those isolated days of not long ago already feel like distant memories, and she wants no part of them to return._
> 
> Est… does it hurt? To light up the world every day?
> 
> _She considers the question._ I don’t feel any sort of strain. It’s hardly debilitating.
> 
> But still… you must want to leave sometimes. It’s not fair for you to remain confined.
> 
> Perhaps. But if I don’t do my duty, the universe will darken, and then what will happen?
> 
> _No response._
> 
> I appreciate your concern, Celes… but so long as this is my role, I’ll fulfill it. For the sake of everyone. _Another smile, as sincere as she could manage._ Okay?
> 
> _Celeste is uncharacteristically silent as she leaves that morning._
> 
> _She returns the next day bearing an expression Estelle had never seen from her before: determination._
> 
> …Est. I’ve made a decision.
> 
> _She says it with such seriousness that it’s almost comical. But Estelle dares not laugh._ What is it?
> 
> _A hard swallow._ I’m… I’m going to find a way to help you.
> 
> To… help me?
> 
> Yes. I’m… I may be weak, and small, and cowardly… but I want to be strong like you. That’s what I decided.
> 
> Celes…?
> 
> _Her eyes pan away._ I’m… I’m going on a journey. To get stronger. And when I return… I’ll get you out of here, so you can see the rest of the world with your own eyes.
> 
> _Estelle’s mouth gapes at the words. Celeste – fair, meek Celeste – embarking on such a journey? It seems unthinkable. And yet she said it with such vigor._
> 
> Wait for me, Est. I swear… I-I’m going to set you free someday.
> 
> _She wants to say that it’s not necessary. That all Celeste needs to do is remain by her side as a friend, and that they’ll be able to soldier any difficulty no matter how big or small. But at that glimmer of promise… the scantest chance of liberty… her soul swells with hope._ Okay. Celes… I believe in you.
> 
> _A shaky smile._ I-I believe in you, too!
> 
> _Their farewell that morning is twice as long, and thrice as bitter. But even so, they are able to see each other off fondly, comfortable in the knowledge that their trust is sincere, and that – come the time – they’ll be there for one another._
> 
> _And so Celeste departs, seeking to become as strong as Estelle, who remains upon the apex of the universe each day, smiling on and on and on…_
> 
> _Yet when night comes, she is alone. Without another soul to lend her an ear, or stroke her shoulder, or provide even the smallest bit of solace._
> 
> _Her heart aches with each passing evening, gushing with isolation and despair._
> 
> _It becomes so great that she seeks to forget about it. She locks it under wall and wall of ice, casting every memory of her beloved Celeste deeper and deeper into the recesses of her soul._
> 
> _So that before long, she no longer thinks of those blissful days in the garden, and only of her given task, smiling even as her heart becomes encased in ice._
> 
> _Years pass. The universe turns. Stars burn out as others bloom in their place._
> 
> _And Celeste grows into a fine young woman._
> 
> _Any who knew her in her youth would be stunned by the stately presence before her – eyes sharp and bright, with a confident poise and an airy inflection, just as gallant as she was courteous. She had dispelled her previous bashfulness and replaced it with a cunning boldness, one so undaunted by danger that it borders on reckless. And for every bit of physical finesse and skill, her words grew ten times stronger, so that she now speaks with all the eloquence and dignity of one far beyond her years, paying respects to any good soul who crosses her path. Before long, she’s hailed by a new title: Prince of the Cosmos. As dashing as she is dazzling._
> 
> _And so it is that, finally assured of herself, she returns to that castle where she spent so many days of her youth, ready to sweep Estelle off of her feet and carry her to far away places, where she could finally stretch her wings and be free. Even as she hops over the nostalgic garden wall and strides through the anciently familiar halls to the parapet, she feels a twinge of her old nervousness return. But it is no matter – she’s prepared her words for years now. She knows exactly what to say._
> 
> _And so it is that she reaches the summit of all reality and beholds her Princess of the Stars, just as grown and wondrous as she is, and resists the urge to weep out of comfort._ Alas, my dear love! How many moons have passed since our parting? How I have longed for this day to come, and at last it has! Oh, blessed be our fortunes!
> 
> _Estelle turns, her effulgent smile as ironclad as ever._ I’m sorry. Who are you?
> 
> _Celeste isn’t daunted – it’s only natural, after such a severe transformation._ Who am I but the swan coming home to its love? The moon reaching out towards the sun? The lonely little star that has flowered into a being of unimaginable luster? For my dear Estelle, it is I – Celeste, come to steal you away beyond the stars, to where you may finally roam free and unburdened.
> 
> _With each statement she brings a gesture just as grand, and yet Estelle seems unaffected._ Celeste? My apologies… you look nothing like her.
> 
> _A chuckle._ Surely you jest! Do you not recognize the tenor of my voice? The sprightliness in my being? The love and concern in my words?
> 
> _Estelle shakes her head, still smiling._ I feel none of Celeste’s qualities from you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve a duty to perform. _She turns back to face the world, beaming wider._
> 
> _Celeste wavers, if only for a moment. How long she had anticipated this moment? All those years, only to end up in a perilous misunderstanding? That would be a misfortune of the highest order… but she doesn’t lose hope. For she knows it’s daytime, and that Estelle presents her true self only when the stars come out. So Celeste bids a courteous farewell and resolves to wait until evening, bristling with anticipation all the while._
> 
> _When she returns, she finds Estelle in the garden, near the same as she used to when they were young._ Estelle! My deepest apologies for earlier – I didn’t mean to impose so suddenly; I was simply overcome with sentiment, and sought to satiate it as swiftly as possible.
> 
> _Estelle stares at her, bearing the same firm grin as earlier._ You again. You still claim to be Celeste?
> 
> Am I not? I can see you are the same Estelle – you bear the same golden hair, the same dainty cheeks, the same wondrous smile… am I truly so different?
> 
> _A giggle – sharp, unkind._ The Celeste I know is hardly so well-spoken and outgoing. Yes… she was a shrinking rose, she was.
> 
> _Celeste stepped closer._ Est… my dear… my–
> 
> Who gave you the right to call me that?
> 
> _The words cut. The air cools. But the smile remains._
> 
> You’re awfully presumptuous, for a complete stranger.
> 
> _Now, and only now, does Celeste’s spirit begin to diminish._ I… I am only this way now because I was inspired to grow for your sake…
> 
> _Bemusement._ I haven’t the foggiest idea what you mean.
> 
> _Celeste fights back her emotions. And yet, she rationalizes – and comes to a conclusion._ …No matter. Whether you take me to be what I am or not, I will get you out of here regardless. Come.
> 
> _She attempts to take Estelle’s hand. The princess knocks it away._
> 
> What in the world do you think you’re doing?
> 
> _Strain._ Taking you away. Come – I can light up the world in your place, or find a lovely dame to fill your role, or let all reality dim into the abyss for all I care. But I cannot bear to see that pain in your eyes any longer.
> 
> _Laughter. High-pitched. Cold._ You think I can leave? I have no idea who you are, but… you’re a fool.
> 
> I often think as such, but a fool is foolhardy, and I won’t leave until I see my dear Estelle granted the autonomy she rightly deserves.
> 
> _Laughter. Headshake. Smile._ Who do you think you are? Who do you think _I_ am? The Princess of the Stars – the one whose radiance lights up the whole universe. I could never leave. Besides…
> 
> _Her eyes crinkle._
> 
> …I like it here.
> 
> _And then, Celeste realizes_
> 
> _that she does not recognize the woman before her._
> 
> _This emotionless, perpetually cheerful machine is not the same Estelle that Celeste knew._
> 
> _Just as her own florid, masterfully eloquent self is not the same Celeste that Estelle knew._
> 
> _The grief of that realization is too much to bear. She flies, feeling her childhood frailty seep back into her being and leak out her eyelids._
> 
> _And Estelle, too, begins to cry – for deep inside her heart, in a place that cannot reach her mind and words, she recognizes her beloved friend, and weeps even as she smiles on and on._
> 
> _Their tears fall to the earth below as shooting stars, burning up into dust and dreams and memory, the last vestiges of what they’d had in their cherished youths…_
> 
> _…As they realize that they are well and truly alone in this world._
> 
> _The stars cross, never to meet again._

_~~~~~_

The curtain falls.

The actors come out to take their bows. The audience stands to applaud with all their strength.

But one little girl, sitting in the very front row… simply cries, and cries, and cries.

Because upon the stage, she just saw her closest friend fall prey to an infinite loneliness.

Her parents attempt to console her, but the tears don’t stop. She nearly sprints out of the auditorium with eyes stained red, dashing down the hall until she falls into the arms of the one who made her sob.

“K-Kao-chan? What’s wrong?”

She blows her nose into her friend’s dress. “Ch-Chii-chan! You were so alone! I… I…”

A gentle laugh. “Kao-chan, it was just a play. I’m alright now. After all, you’re here with me, aren’t you?”

She raises her head and looks into the soft, weary eyes of the one others called Chisato Shirasagi. But to Kaoru Seta, she is simply… “Chii-chan… I… I…!”

“Shh, it’s okay…” Chisato pats her on the shoulder. “I’m right here, it’s o–”

“I-I would’ve stayed with you forever! I wouldn’t have run off and left you alone!”

The consoling slows. “Kao-chan…”

“Wh-Why did that play have to be so sad? Shouldn’t they have recognized each other?”

Chisato isn’t sure how to explain to Kaoru what a ‘tragedy’ entails. The poor girl’s heart is simply too fragile to understand the connotations of such a thing. But such earnestness makes Chisato smile. “Well, it’s complicated…”

“If I were there, I’d…” Kaoru swallows. “I-I wouldn’t have stopped until you recognized me!”

Chisato laughs. “I’m sure. That’s just the sort of person you are, isn’t it?”

Kaoru grips Chisato’s blouse tightly. “S-Someday, I’ll… I’ll…”

“Kao-chan?”

A tight swallow. “We’ll put on the play again… and I’ll be Celeste… and we’ll have a happy ending then!”

Chisato mouth grows agape for a moment, her eyes wide with disbelief. Behind her eyes one can see the gears churning as she processes what her closest friend has said. And eventually, she smiles – that distant, lightless, quiet smile.

“…Okay. It’s a promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: if you're coming here for the first time I would avoid reading the comments on this first chapter, since they're talking about the entire fic! Just a heads-up


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned it at the beginning of the fic, but posting here too in case you missed it: the new chapters are me breaking up the content of the fic so it's not just one giant chunky oneshot. So if you came here eager for more content... sorry, nothing to be seen.

The mask is on tight.

It is no mere disguise; it is her entire existence, a self-actualized façade. Her entire presence in the world lives and dies by the name she was bequeathed upon birth, the name the masses grew to know, the name that invokes a grace and gentility and professionalism that few could ever dare to achieve. She wouldn’t know what to do if it were to ever slip – die of mortification? A bit hasty, but perhaps reasonable enough in the right context. After all, without the mask, she’s nothing. Less than ash in the wind.

It’s a jovial, pleasant, compliant cloak: like Thalia, the mask of comedy, named after the Greek muse of the same discipline… even if her laughs were less jovial and more airy. Not that it matters. The mere approximation of a chuckle is enough to fool most. And most are who she mostly has to concern herself with.

Of course, the mask extends far beyond the eyes, the nose, or even the chin and ears. It’s present in the poise of her spine, the enunciation in her words, the spacing of her very thoughts, all so carefully coordinated that the slightest slip would make an astute observer cock an eyebrow. Of course, one that perceptive was as rare as a blue moon, so she could skirt by without much worry. It’s more insurance than anything else – be careless, and it would much sooner be pried off. Not to say it didn’t ever loosen. She’d encountered several individuals over the years who could manage to jostle it off of her ever so slightly. Her bandmates had, whether consciously or not, relaxed it over time. Perhaps it was her keyboardist’s earnest spirit, her drummer’s attention to detail, her guitarist’s manic whims, or even her vocalist’s endearing woes, but there were times where she could feel the air brush against her skin underneath the disguise, if only for a moment or two. But whenever that occurs, she always remembers to tighten it. Insurance.

There is another who can pry it off even further: a friend from middle school. They don’t see each other often these days – it’s her own schedule that’s at fault – but with each ensuing café meetup she has to resist the urge to tear off her face more and more each time. Perhaps that would be bearable, if her old friend didn’t notice each time, her anxious frown growing with each passing detail. Such an ill-fitting expression – nobody would dare want that to befall such a compassionate friend. So she keeps the masquerade up as best as she can. It’s not as troubling as it seems, given how easily others are duped.

Of course, there’s _one_ who can effortlessly wrest the mask from her eyes.

Not that she pays that person any mind right now. For the moment, she has to make sure it’s screwed on extra tight – she’s about to enter the jackals’ den. Her bandmates offered to come along, but their potential assistance doesn’t outweigh the risk: these animals waste no movement in charging for the throat. Compared to these folk, her own little persona seems like a fancy; they’ve worn the masks so long that they believe them to be her real faces. Such is the world they live in, she supposes. She often wonders if the same thing will happen to her someday. No matter – she came here with a task in mind. Clearing the hair from her face and donning a smile, she enters.

“Ah, Shirasagi-san. Welcome.”

Her expression lightens further. It’s the same assortment as always – five hounds arranged in a row on the other side of the table, each wearing the same saccharine grin, even as the yen signs flash in their pupils. She expects nothing more. With the most measured of motions, she takes her seat. “Thank you for having me.”

“Of course. Thank you for your timeliness.”

A small nod. “Now then, what are we to discuss today?”

As practiced as ever, the lead jackal straightens his papers, handing one to her. “Not much – typical scheduling business. This is the calendar we’ve outlined for the next two months. Take a moment to look it over.”

She does just that, her eyes scanning the schedule with the typical diligence. Practice five times a week, four meet-and-greet events, three television specials, two concerts, and one album… business as usual.

“Is it to your liking?”

Another scan. Her smile drops an inch. “Hmm… this date of our August concert… would it be possible to move it forward a day?”

From a Friday to a Saturday seems arbitrary and harmless enough. But nothing is as such in the wolf den of capitalism. “Do you have a reason?”

Naturally: Eve had a kendo match that evening, and a Roselia concert that Hina would undoubtedly like to attend was the same day. Not that they would find those reasons compelling in the slightest. “I believe I’m shooting a live TV special that day… not to imagine that I believe engagement would be higher on a weekend night. People would be able to sleep in on Sunday.”

Two points are usually enough to convince them. Even if they could never simply say as such. “Very well. We’ll consider it.”

_Bzzzzt_

Her phone buzzes. “Pay it no mind,” she assures them. Considering her usual state of affairs, it’s inevitable that her someone would message her during a meeting such as this.

“Right. Continue on.”

She continues perusing the contents of the calendar. “For these specials… if I’m reading it correctly, there is one that focuses on myself, one that focuses on Aya-chan and Hina-chan, and one that focuses on Eve-chan?”

“That is correct.”

Her mouth smiles still, but her eyes narrow. “And why is there none for Maya-chan?”

The answer comes immediately and professionally. “Truth be told, Yamato-san is simply not on the same level of stardom as the rest of you. Her merchandise frequently remains on shelves, her fan letters are fewer in number, and she consistently ranks in the bottom of popularity polls–”

“And that is justification to demean her?”

It comes out harsher than she means to – but perhaps that’s a good thing, considering the reaction. “It’s… merely a TV special…”

“The strength of Pastel✽Palettes lies in our cohesion as a unit,” she continues. “Fans are perceptive to unequal treatment. If they take notice they’ll latch on immediately, and then come the rumors – a rift in management, trouble amongst the staff, perhaps even the whisperings of a disbandment…” Her smile widens. “Surely we don’t wish for that, do we?”

An uncomfortable shuffling. A throat clears. “Are you offering to share your own special with her, Shirasagi-san?”

Ah, a jackal’s favorite tactic – vouching for someone else only punishes you. How asinine of them to assume everyone else is as selfish as they are. Fortunately, she’s craftier than their dull schemes. “I certainly don’t mind sharing a spotlight with Maya-chan, if that’s what you wish. It is my professional opinion, however, that it might do better to pair her off with Eve-chan instead – the two share a similar enthusiasm when it comes to their passions, and play off each other well.”

A whisper into an ear. “Very well. We’ll consider it.”

They can’t even bother to come up another phrase. How obvious can it be that they’re simply sniffing about for profit margins?

_Bzzzt_

Another buzz. “Are you sure you shouldn’t answer it?”

She shakes her head. “Pay it no mind.”

She has a rule: three buzzes before pickup. Given she had three primary social obligations – friends, acting, and music – she would likely only receive two messages in regards to business, considering she was already occupied with one. If she got three messages in the span of a scant few minutes, then it was likely something more urgent, and she could spare the five seconds required to scan over her phone’s interface to see what’s happening. But for the moment, she withholds.

“On to other matters…” Hands wring on top of the table. “I believe we discussed a solo debut last time?”

Her fingers fold delicately in her lap. “I do believe you did. What of it?”

“…We are prepared to move ahead into the next phase.” More papers – these one containing musical bars. “A look, if you’d please.”

She takes the papers smoothly into her hands. “This is the first song I am to record?”

“That is the plan.”

She surveys it quickly – a light yet omnipresent bassline, airy vocals, turgid lyrics… exactly what she expected. She would have to mark it up later. “May I provide feedback by tomorrow?”

“Actually… we were hoping to get notes from you during this meeting.”

She has to stop herself from scoffing. This was a whole four-and-a-half minutes’ worth of sheet music – if she wishes to make it as high-quality as possible, then she needs the time to consider it. “Do you truly expect me to provide adequate feedback in the next half an hour?”

“You’re talented, Shirasagi-senpai. We find the music suits your image well, personally. We don’t expect much feedback.”

Perhaps they were right for that – it isn’t as if she has much knowledge of music theory in the first place. But to have this carbon-copy, tasteless single delivered to her with the notion of it “suiting her image”…

She might be insulted if it weren’t so accurate.

_Bzzzt_

A third buzz. Her smile reignites. “My apologies – it will only take a moment.”

“Of course.”

She clears her bangs with the same pleasant beam as she glides to punch in her four-digit passcode, opening up her message app:

And feeling the mask crack in an instant.

> Kaoru: A sonnet, for thee:
> 
> _Beneath the stars that smile in the sky_
> 
> _Rains tears like dew heaven could ne’er bestow_
> 
> _Above the earth that grants us sweet supply_
> 
> _Lies you who walks with locks golden yellow_
> 
> _With steps that ripple ‘cross the milky way_
> 
> _And song that sunders sallow aching hearts_
> 
> _Lightens a soul much more than words can say_
> 
> _Even as we stand half a world apart_
> 
> _And when you pluck at strings of yonder bass_
> 
> _Then roses bloom with whispers sweet and true_
> 
> _And no more stars do fall from your dear grace_
> 
> _There’s naught I need in life but love and you_
> 
> _Yet we no longer are what we yet seem_
> 
> _And you remain within my fleeting dreams_
> 
> 😌👑💖
> 
> Kaoru: I’m unsure if you took notice, but I just sent you a sonnet. 🌹 There is no need for haste, but I do wish to hear your thoughts when you read it. Thank you kindly. 🌟
> 
> Kaoru: Are you there, my sweet? It’s been five minutes and there’s no reply. 😔

Chisato read every single word, her impatience growing by the moment.

“Shirasagi-san? Is something wrong?”

The query snap her back. She rights the mask, smoothing over the cracks in one easy smile. “Ah, my apologies. This is a small matter; pay it no mind.”

“Are you sure? You seemed quite consternated…”

She wants to curse at herself. She has better sense than to let something so asinine catch her off-guard. But even so… an entire sonnet? Written from scratch? That woman has too much time on her hands…

“Perhaps we should call the meeting here?”

She opens her mouth to protest, before realizing this works to her advantage. “Y…Yes. Perhaps it would be better if I can focus on this quibble. My apologies – I’ll be sure to get the sheet music to you as soon as possible.”

“Tomorrow. No later.”

Such stringency was all she could hope for. She puts away her things, stands up, brushes her hair back, and bows deeply. “Thank you for your time.”

“Thank you for your time.”

And with a quick turn and step, she exits the cave.

The breath she lets out upon leaving is deeper than she thought it would be. Where did such tension sprout from? She was handling things easily, before…

_Bzzzt_

A fourth buzz. With no one else around, she’s free to scowl as she pulls up her messages once more:

> Kaoru: Perhaps it would be better to hear feedback in person. I am currently at WcRonald’s😃 🍔 – please join me there. I’ll wait all night until you arrive.

With anyone else, such a claim would be sheer grandiosity. But with Kaoru, there’s a distinct possibility she’s sincere in her proclamation – and what’s more, there’s no small chance that she’d keep pestering Chisato by the hour until she came. With the heaviest of sighs, she sends the tersest reply she can manage.

> Chisato: Very well. I’ll be there soon.

Normally she would punctuate such a statement with a light emoji, but she can never do that with Kaoru, lest she end up buried under a mountain of roses and sparkles in return. She bites her lip as she leans against the wall, feeling the exhaustion of the ten-hour day seep into her muscles…

…Footsteps sound from down the hallway. Chisato stands straight immediately. She smiles as the source – two agency men – pass by, greeting them with the expected courtesy. How strange it is that any contact with Kaoru causes her façade to falter, no matter the context. Perhaps one day she would wrangle her fingers under Chisato’s veil and raise it away for good.

Not that it would matter.

After all, pry one mask off, and you’d just find another.

* * *

Could she compare this to a summer’s day?

Hardly – for a summer’s day is what it is. Bright blue skies, gleaming white sun, rays as warm as a young maiden’s smile… and oh, how many young maidens there are smiling in her vicinity right now!

“Ohmygod! Kaoru-sama! In the flesh!”

“You’re even more handsome up close!”

“I could die and go to heaven!”

Oh, how sinful her very existence is, to devilish attract so many lost lambs… aye, she’s a shepherd, but not a willing one. How she wished she could simply do away with her extravagant beauty and grace, so that the world would be less beguiled by her charms… and yet, she must make the most of her situation. “Now now, my dear kittens… no need to pounce all at once. There’s room enough for all of you.”

The three maidens before her twist and squeal about in earnestness. Three delightful members of her fan club – she knows them all by name, of course. She addresses them in turn. “Akane-chan, how are you faring today? Is your mother well? I know you expressed concern for her condition when last we spoke…”

“She’s been doing a lot better! Thank you so much, Kaoru-sama! Talking to you really helped calm my nerves.”

“Wonderful.” The times when she can do little but offer emotional support are their own kind of strain – she’s always left with the sensation that she should do more. Regardless… “And what of you, Ginko-chan? Are your plants healthy?”

“They’re doing great! Those tips you gave me were really useful.”

“Ah, excellent.” Asking fair Arisa for gardening advice proved to be the correct move: Kaoru’s hardly an expert on such matters herself, after all. She turns towards the last girl before her. “Ah, dear Rio… you have a concert soon, do you not?”

“Y-Yes! This Saturday! C…Could you attend?”

A chuckle. “But of course. I know how earnestly you have worked the tuba keys – it would be an honor of the highest order to hear your dulcet tones in person.”

A deep bow. “Th-Thank you so much!”

Her heart fills with a soaring lightness. What gorgeous creatures these are – society seems to have the inkling that their round frames or penny-sized moles or little gaps between their teeth are worthy of mockery, but she detests such notions. Who could not find such pure spirits to be endearing? Laudable? Loveable? These women tackle their passions with such surety that she feels on the verge of tears… yet all she can do is laugh. “My dears, I’m filled with a most fleeting sentiment to hear you in such grand spirits. Please, tell me more of your day to day lives, so that I may provide the proper panaceas as necessary.”

More cries. “Oooooh, Kaoru-sama! Why does your smile have to be so handsome?”

Why indeed? Alas, she was granted such devilish attractiveness for a grander purpose… if only she could discern its intention. Her gaze drifts to the fluorescent distance in contemplation, fingers stroking her chin in thought.

Her new line of sight includes Kanon at the register, who momentarily locks eyes before returning with a startle to the customer addressing her. Far to their left, at the table bordering her own, lies Kokoro and Hagumi in the midst of becoming french fry walruses, giggling like jolly schoolchildren – which they are, of course. Misaki is nowhere in sight, having messaged them to say she’d meet with them later that night for the ensuing sleepover. And Michelle was as elusive as ever. Where did yonder bear go on her days off? Perhaps not even the gods knew… it caused no small deal of befuddlement to Kaoru’s waking thoughts.

Yet in spite of her absent friends, the sun beaming high through the windows casts the fast food restaurant’s interior in a positively golden brilliance, creating a most distinct mood. How would she describe it… gentle? Peaceful? Or perhaps, simply… fleeting…

“Kaoru-sama? Are you there?”

Ah, she became distracted by her own musings once more… curse her terribly vast mind, so seduced by flights of fancy. “My apologies, kittens. Please, carry on. What’s troubling you?”

“Oh, nothing’s troubling me! I, er, um, just wanted to…” After a twiddle of the thumbs, a heart-shaped box is thrust out towards her. “I-I’m in love with you! Please go out with me!”

Two gasps echo from her fellow fan club members. From the periphery of her vision, Kaoru sees Kanon turn in the direction of the sudden outburst – she doesn’t seem particularly surprised, of course. Such an event is weekly, at the least. And though it happens so frequently, her response never becomes any easier. “My dear Akane… you lovely, starry girl. I wish in my heart of hearts that I could accept and reciprocate such feelings.”

“B-But don’t you? You said in your White Day letter that you cherished me!”

Kaoru hears the shuffle of the burger joint’s door as she closes her eyes with a smile. “Alas, how could I not? With eyes of onyx that simmer so, and a soul that burns twice as bright… indeed, you are one of the most amiable women I know. Why, I would prostrate myself upon one knee in an instant, had I the opportunity. That is simply how charming you are.”

A familiar – yet unexpected – giggle sounds in her ears. “My, Kaoru, you certainly know how to pitch woo, hm?”

Thunder strikes her heart and she swerves herself around to see the one she was anticipating. “Why… Chisato! My most luscious of–“

“Pardon me,” Chisato interjects, bowing before the fan club members. “If you would be so kind, I have a private conversation I need to have with your… Kaoru-sama, was it?”

Two of the girls awkwardly nod, but the third simply stares at her starstruck. “Ch-Chisato Shirasagi? Oh my gosh! I’m a big fan!”

Chisato’s smile widens. “Oh?”

“Y-Yes! I’ve been watching you ever since I was little, and I, er, um… c-can I get an autograph?”

The most polite of nods. “Of course.”

Kaoru cannot help herself from staring at her as she smoothly scrawls her signature across the sudden board… alas, Chisato. Of all the angels in heaven, she is the highest seraph of all. Pearls would envy her smile; silk would grow jealous of her touch; a siren would covet her voice. How many poems had Kaoru written in an attempt to capture such rapturous flawlessness? More than any man or woman could keep track of, to be sure, for none could truly paint the image of the goddess that stands before her. Yet still she tries… alas, she is a fool to the fleeting end.

After handing the girl her autograph, Chisato sits across from Kaoru, removing her purse and heaving the smallest of sighs. “Kaoru…” Despite just arriving, she seems at a loss for words.

A chuckle. “Have I stricken you silent at the mere sight of me? Alas, my tender gaze has muted many a maiden in its day…”

“Like those ‘maidens’ you were just entertaining?” said Chisato, her familiar grin returning to her face. “I had no idea you were polyamorous.”

“Hm, well…” Kaoru eats daintily from a french fry. “I believe you’re mistaken.”

“Ah, so you’re simply a cheater, then?”

She nearly chokes on the small potato matter as Chisato giggles away. Even though it was a mere jest, it stabs Kaoru all the same… she means no kitten any amount of duplicity; she was in the midst of a rejection, in fact. And yet when Chisato speaks such words, they needle her heart with lightness that belies their severity.

“Tell me, Kaoru,” said Chisato, taking one of her fries without asking, “why were you so concerned with that sonnet?”

Ah, yes. The sonnet. In truth, it was meant to open up discussion to another matter she wished to talk about, but she would have to find a more natural path to segue into that conversation in person. “Ahaha… I simply wished to pay you a token of my devotion. Sometimes I feel it is not clear how deeply and richly I care for you, my sweet…”

“And surely you haven’t repeated such a script to a dozen different women.”

A heart clutches to her chest. “Your distrust wounds me, my friend.”

“Is it distrust, or perception?”

“You know that my heart aches for you and you alone…”

“Just as it aches for Hanako, and Natsumi, and all the other wayward ‘kittens’ of the world, yes?” Chisato’s rigid smile lowers two degrees. “Do you gain some sort of perverse pleasure from your infidelity?”

“I don’t believe I have ever been unfaithful.”

“To a woman? …Perhaps not. But to yourself?” Chisato shakes her head. “Dear little Kao-chan is untrue day by day.”

Once again, Kaoru nearly chokes, feeling the rush of pink to her cheeks. “Chii– Chisato, please. Not in public…”

A loud giggle. “Why ever not? It’s hardly more embarrassing than the names you regard your paramours by… what’s the difference between Kao-chan and a kitten, when they both mewl so profusely?”

Kaoru’s eyes dart to Kanon, who’s looking in their direction with grave concern. Pay them no mind… pay them no mind… clear the throat, and right the self. “I… that name is very important to me. I do not admire you throwing it around uninhibited.”

More laughter. “It’s just a little joking, Kaoru. Considering what you say to me on a daily basis I hardly think you should be cross… especially after the trouble you’ve caused.”

A shift in tone. “Trouble? Whatever do you speak of?”

She sees the light dim in Chisato’s eyes. “…Nothing. Pay that no mind.”

Kaoru’s face darkens. “Chii-chan… is something wrong?”

A scoff. “You fuss about your own nickname, and then pull mine out without a second thought. Hypocritical much?”

“I’m simply concerned, that is all.” She puts on the bravest, most empathetic expression she can manage. “Tell me what ails you. Please.”

A sigh. Chisato’s smile falls away for the first time. “I should be going. I have a lot of work to do tonight.”

“Leaving so soon?” asked Kaoru as Chisato stood up and gathered her things. “After coming all this way… surely we can spend a little more time in each other’s company.” She still hasn’t gotten to the question she wishes to ask, after all.

“Kaoru,” Chisato begins, her posture prim and tall, “why do you do this?”

“Do what? Be so bewitchingly striking?”

“No.”

She stepped towards the door, not stopping as she delivered her final words:

“Why do you always pretend to be someone you’re not?”

The clatter of the door shutting sounds in Kaoru’s ears before she can answer.


	3. Chapter 3

Chisato walks more quickly than she means to. The tap of her shoes against the concrete sidewalk thuds in her ear with rhythmic precision, steady in its haste. She isn’t sure why she feels so frustrated, considering how many times they’ve had this conversation before: shouldn’t she be used to this outcome? To Kaoru engaging in such lurid bombast and theatricality?

She was barely a block away when she felt her phone buzz again.

> Kaoru: Chisato. Since you didn’t give me time to answer in person, I’ll tell you the answer to your question – the same as many a time before.
> 
> Kaoru: I am I. The same Kaoru Seta you’ve always known. Just as you are you, the same Chisato Shirasagi I have always cared for. That is all. 🎭

The response intensifies Chisato’s disgust. Even here in Kaoru’s flowery responses she feigns ignorance… does she truly believe that gallant buffoon of a prince is her real self? Chisato knows the real Kaoru Seta – the shrinking violet of a girl who cowers in fright at the mention of ghosts, heights, or insects. To wear the mask was one thing… to think of it as one’s true self was its own foolishness.

She attempts to dismiss her anguish – no matter. She’s feeling incensed in the heat of the moment; it won’t be long before she can take a breather. Just as she’s about to cram her phone back into her pocket, she gets another message. Only this one wasn’t from Kaoru:

> Aya: hey chisato-chan~! ( ◡‿◡ ) we’re all going out to get ice cream! do you wanna come along??? :3c
> 
> Aya: oh uh we is the band btw haha XD

Chisato adjusts herself, regaining her composure in an instant.

> Chisato: I appreciate the offer, but I’m afraid I have work to do. Have fun without me.🙂

Technically speaking her schedule is clear for the rest of the evening, but she does have business to take care of – examining her sheet music, doing homework, and making sure that she didn’t miss any important emails from earlier in the day. Once again she’s on the verge of putting her phone away when…

_Bzzzzzzt Bzzzzzzzzzzzt_

Ringing. Aya’s… calling?

She presses the green answer button to see a face she doesn’t expect.

“Chisato-chan! Boppin’~!”

“Hina-chaaaaaaan! Give me my phone back!”

The image on screen shuffles around greatly. Chisato laughs as she recognizes what’s going on. “Swiping Aya-chan’s phone again, Hina-chan?”

“Heehee, you got it.” The screen blurs before showing Hina smiling, holding back a flailing Aya with one arm. “She wanted to call you but was nervous for some reason, so I decided to take care of it for her!”

“Th-That doesn’t give you an excuse to steal it from me!” Aya whines.

Hina pays her no mind, instead pressing against the phone screen with rapid fingers. “Let’s see here… wow! So many selfies in your camera roll! Were you trying to find the right angle, or what?”

“Hina-chaaaaaan…”

“Come now, Aya-chan,” said Chisato, shaking her head with a tut. “A true idol would be able to get it right in one shot.”

“Chisato-chan! N-Not you too!”

Hina and Chisato continue laughing at Aya’s expense as she deflates into her seat, defeated. Eve and Maya wave on from the edge of the frame.

“Anyway, you should totally come hang out with us!” says Hina. “You can finish your work in like five minutes, right? You’re zappin’ like that.”

“I’m not so swift as you are, regrettably,” says Chisato. “I’m afraid I must pass.”

“Are you sure? They’ve got Rocky Rooooad~…”

Chisato isn’t sure what to make of that comment – did Hina think she enjoyed that flavor? “I’m truly sorry…”

“Please, Chisato-san!” calls Eve. “We wish to know how the meeting with the producers went today!”

“Don’t push yourself if you can help it,” says Maya. “But maybe it’d be nice to take a load off?”

She looks into the sincere eyes of her bandmates, and feels the mask chafe against her skin. Her sigh is resigned.

“…Very well. I’ll be there shortly.”

Even this, in one sense, is a duty.

* * *

She arrives at the parlor before long, ordering a single scoop of vanilla and sitting at the table.

“I’m so glad to see you!” says Aya, slurping up the last of her milkshake. “I was worried about how the meeting went, since none of us could make it… n-not that I doubted you for a second!”

“You shoulda seen her, Chisato-chan,” says Hina, her spoon stabbing at the remains of a gummy-bear- and skittle-covered sundae. “She was pacing all around and muttering to herself like crazy! She even had her hands clasped together in prayer at one point.”

“I-I did not!”

“It was very zen of you!” says Eve, bowing before her emptied bowl of matcha ice cream. “I long to have that kind of concentration myself!”

“Ooough… even Eve-chan is making fun of me…”

“I, er, think she legitimately admires you for it, huhehe,” says Maya, streaks of moose tracks lining her cup.

Chisato feels her tendons loosen as she watches them banter. It’s rare for her to find a moment to be with them outside of the studio… usually, she’s so preoccupied with other matters that the thought of casual socialization is the furthest concern from her mind. In one sense, she almost wants to be alone right now. And yet, company is the only thing lightening her heart. Even if she can feel her composure beginning to slip, ever so slightly.

“So?” asks Hina. “How were the execs? As umphy as ever?”

A flit of a chuckle. “You could say that. There’s little to report.” No need to tell them information they didn’t need to know. “I believe they’ll hand you all the finalized schedule before long.”

“Well, no news is good news,” says Maya. “I guess we’ll keep on keeping on.”

“I-I dunno… I’m a little antsy,” says Aya. “I feel like we’ve been coasting for a while…”

“You’re just nervous about your solo debut,” says Chisato. “It would make sense that they wouldn’t discuss such matters with me.”

“I… guess… but!” Determination blazes in Aya’s eyes. “W-We’ll be fine! I know it!”

The rest of the band stares at her blankly before bursting into laughter.

“Wh-What’s so funny?”

“You act like we’re all worried about something,” says Hina, “but it’s only you, isn’t it?”

“H-Hey!”

“Fear not, Aya-san!” says Eve, her hands confidently on her hips. “I’ll have enough confidence for the two of us!”

As the three continue exchanging words back and forth, Maya turns to Chisato, her gaze softening. “…Hey, you okay? You seem a little distant.”

Chisato bolts her smile back on. “Hm? Oh, no, I’m fine. How about yourself, Maya-chan?”

“Me? I’m doing well enough.” She takes off her cap and fans herself. “Hey, that reminds me – the theater club decided on its next play today.”

“Ah, really? Which one?”

“I believe you’ve heard of it. _The Stars Cross.”_

The name stirs ancient memories. “…Yes. I starred in a production of it when I was younger.”

“Huhehe… starred…” Maya clears her throat. “Er, yes. Kaoru-san told me as such.”

The mention of that name prickles her stomach. “Did she, now?”

Maya blinks. “Is something wrong?”

Another slip. No matter – she’ll tighten her expression twice as hard this time. “It’s nothing. Still, that name brings me nostalgia. _The Stars Cross…”_

“Yeah…” Maya gulps, her eyes shifting around. “Actually, um, I don’t know if I should be telling you this, but…”

“But?”

Maya takes a deep breath. “K-Kaoru-san asked if we could consider casting you in it.”

“…Absolutely not.”

The immediacy of her reply surprises herself. It seems to come out sharper than she intends, because everyone else at the parlor table is now staring into her inquisitively.

“O-Oh,” Maya utters meekly. “D-Did you not like being in the play when you were little?”

Doubt comes in. No need to panic: she simply needs to correct course. “My apologies – I didn’t mean to come across curtly. It’s simply that with my schedule as packed as it is, I don’t have the resources to devote to an upcoming play.”

“A-Ah…” Maya nods, her eyebrows still sloped in worry. “I understand.”

“Are you sure your schedule isn’t too full, Chisato-san?” asks Eve. “You must remember to rest well!”

“I’m quite alright, Eve-chan. Thank you for your concern.”

“Man, what’s it like to get so much on your plate?” asks Hina. “I can’t imagine juggling that much stuff at once. I think I’d get bored fast.”

“Really, Hina-chan? I wouldn’t expect that sort of answer from you.”

Aya’s eyes meet her wringing hands. “Chisato-chan… um… i-is there something going on with you and Kaoru-san?”

Something snaps.

“I-I don’t mean to pry! You just looked really… intense… when Maya-chan said her name…”

Emotions too complicated and overbearing to name filled her stomach. In an effort to avoid them, she turns back towards Maya. “Tell me… in the production, does Kaoru intend to play Celeste?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, yeah,” Maya confirms.

“…And I presume she meant for me to play Estelle, as I did in my youth?”

“I-I think so.”

She can’t stop the sigh from escaping her lips before she mutters to herself. “Honestly… you still remember that promise, Kao-chan?”

“Chisato-san?”

She dons the smile once more. “Sorry. I have much to think about. Can we start making our way home? I really do have a lot I need to work on tonight.”

Sensing her urgency, everyone assents, and they make off from the parlor. She’s mostly distracted by her own thoughts as they walk, dwelling on the slate of tasks before her as a certain princely figure remains lurking on the fringes of her mind. She thought she was long past becoming so upset, and yet…

“Chisato-san?”

She’s lulled from her daze by Maya’s voice. “Hm? What is it?”

They stand at the crossroads where they’ll part for the night. Maya rubs her head as she looks for what to say. “Just… take care of yourself, alright? If there’s anything I or any of the rest of us can do to help, let us know. Okay?”

For a moment – a brief, transient moment – she considers that possibility. Of telling Maya, or Aya, or anyone else she knew of her struggles. Of leaning in on her shoulder and venting about her frustrations. Of simple releasing the pressure from her chest and letting whatever lies beneath of speaking true. Of vulnerability.

But Chisato Shirasagi is not vulnerable.

And so the mask remains snug. “Of course. Thank you, Maya-chan. Good night.”

A nod. “Good night, Chisato-chan.”

Her smile remains etched on her face all the way home.

* * *

Hmm… a most troubling development. How it plagues her mind and soul, leeching away at her arteries, clogging her veins with dread and apprehension as she utters her inquiry…

“Dear Kokoro… do you have any 4’s?”

“Nope! Go fish!”

Curses… she’s only gotten one pair all game. And her compatriots all have three, at least… hmm… a most unfleeting prospect indeed. Even here, comfortable in Kokoro’s plush bedroom for their sleepover, she finds herself in the depths of despair.

“My turn?” asked Misaki. “Um… Kanon, do you have any 10’s?”

Headshake. “Go fish.”

Misaki draws. Kokoro is next. “Hey, Kaoru, you have any 4’s?”

“Gkh…!” She nearly bites her tongue off in despair. Even so, her ironclad smile remains on her face as she tearfully proffers the card to Kokoro, who forms her twelfth pair of the game.

“You, uh, doing okay over there, Kaoru-san?” asks Misaki. “You look as if you’re about to start monologuing.”

“Alas, what contemptible misfortune…” A dry, bitter chuckle escapes her mouth. “Is this the hand fate has dealt me? I simply yearn for the Queen of Hearts to grace my presence with her bell of a smile, and instead I am handed the most pitiful of spades… what cruel fate! What uncaring gods! Oh, were I a cheat or vagrant I would not live as a fisherwoman, as I do now, but because I choose to live honestly, I suffer for my misdeeds! ‘Tis a tragedy greater than any writ by the bard himself…”

“Hey, Kaoru, you have any queens?” asks Kokoro.

Kaoru heaves a heavy sigh as she hands her another of her cards, the shadow across her smile deep and dark. Misaki scratches at her own cheek. “Do you, er, need to take a break? If the game’s making you unhappy, you shouldn’t play it.”

Kaoru considers her words at a level deeper than Misaki would imagine. “Yes… you are right. Perhaps I require a breath of fresh air…”

Slowly, as if in a daze, she rises to her feet and makes for Kokoro’s balcony, not noticing the intense concern of Kanon as she opens the wide glassy bay door and shuts it tight behind her. She hears the raucous fun of Kokoro and Hagumi as she gazes up into the warm summer sky, the chirp of cicadas filling the air as she beheld the little lights that shined above.

Chisato. Her oldest, dearest friend. Something gnaws at her, but she refuses to tell Kaoru of it. Why? Does she not trust her, after all these years? Does she think Kaoru uncapable of lightening her woes? Or does she simply want no one else to be laden with her burdens? Kaoru knows which answer is true, and said answer weighs heavy on her heart as she rests on the balcony’s railing.

Oh, the stars… firm and unbending. Stronger and truer than any man’s spirit, so consistent that those of ancient times used them as a map. If only she could be so bright and stalwart. Indeed… she’d been pursuing that goal all her life…

“Kaoru-san?”

The light squeak of a voice causes her to turn. “Why, if it isn’t Kanon. How are you on this fine evening?”

“Um… I-I’m fine,” says Kanon. “I was just worried about you..”

A gallant chuckle. “About me? Why, I am truly sinful, if my consternation at a mere card game is enough to cause fret to a darling such as yourself… no penance of mine could make up for such an ill transgression.”

“I-I don’t think you have to worry about that…” says Kanon, smiling nervously. “You’ve just seemed troubled all day.”

She’s still an open book, it seems. Even so, Kaoru feels uncharacteristic in how tightly she wishes to hold the truth to her chest. “I suppose I was feeling a mite under the weather. The day was simply so bright that it paradoxically turned me gloomy, for I know that we’ll soon not see another like it…”

“I-Is that it?” asks Kanon. “I… I thought it might have to do with Chisato-chan.”

Kaoru is surprised by just how much she’s surprised. The look must be evident on her face, because Kanon’s expression falls.

“Is… something going on between you two?”

‘Something’ was quite the broad category. Yet what can Kaoru say? She would be a fool and a liar to deny it, even if she cannot name the malady for herself. “You witnessed the spectacle today, didn’t you?”

Kanon nodded. “I c-could tell you two were having some sort of argument.”

An argument? Perhaps a lovers’ quarrel would be more accurate… no, she shouldn’t presume such things. Not when Chisato looked at her in the manner that she did today. “…Aye. It’s true. She thinks me a licentious lout.”

“L-Licen…?” Kanon shakes her head. “Um… is it because you were talking to those girls from your fan club?”

Kaoru nods. “She mistook my support for professions of love… though I haven’t the foggiest idea why.”

“W-Well… you do kind of talk that way to people…”

Kaoru’s eyes widen. “Truly?”

“Y…Yeah. You always come across as a bit… er… flirtatious, I guess.”

She leans on the balcony for support. “I hadn’t a clue.”

“Eheheh…” Kanon’s awkward giggle rings out over the balcony. “You’re a very honest person, aren’t you, Kaoru-san?”

Her own laugh is just as clear. “I’m glad that someone believes so.”

Kanon seems to put the pieces of that comment together. “Chisato-chan… means well, you know.”

“Of course.” Kaoru turns back and looks out over the city. “I’ve never doubted her for even a single moment. And yet…”

A beat of silence.

“Tell me, Kanon… how would you describe Chisato?”

“H-Huh?”

Kaoru’s eyes track above once more. “Is she not a dignified, gentle, strong person? A woman worthy of respect and admiration?”

Kanon walks up next to her on the railing “I… yes. Chisato-chan is a dear friend of mine. She’s kind, and considerate, and absolutely wonderful. She’s… she’s the nicest person I’ve ever known.” She smiles. “I just wish I could tell her that more often.”

“So you believe so as well…” Kaoru smiles, but it’s a sad expression. “And yet… I fear she doesn’t realize it herself.”

“Y-You think?”

Kaoru nods. “Alas, no matter how often I sing her praises to high heaven, she never seems to believe me… it is most curious. I have never laid such sweet words upon another, and yet she views them with such scorn…”

“M…Maybe she doesn’t like grandiose displays of love?” Kanon suggests. “She’s always been a more reserved person, after all.”

“Mm… you believe so?”

“Y-Yeah.”

Kaoru crosses her arms. “A more down-to-earth, simple form of affection… hmm… I will have to give such a matter some thought. And yet, I fear what will happen if I take too long.”

“What do you mean?”

“I could see it in her eyes today,” says Kaoru. “Beneath her smile lies an exhaustion she dares not speak to others of. And locking such a sentiment up so tightly can only prove ill.”

“Kaoru-san…”

She forces a smile. “Do not concern yourself for my sake. I merely ask that you seek to support her as best as you can – just as you support me. Is that a fair ask?”

A light giggle. “Of course. I’d do anything to help her.”

“Wonderful. Then our purpose is as one.” Kaoru motions back inside. “I don’t mean to be callous, my dear, but I would like a bit of alone time, if that’s alright.”

“Of course,” says Kanon, stepping back towards the door. “Good night, Kaoru-san.”

“Good night, Kanon.”

And once again, she’s left alone with the stars.

She gazes up above at their infinite twinkle, amazed by how bright and clear they are in the Tokyo sky. How they gleam on and on, illuminating the darkened world below… and how she wishes she could shine as bright as them.

Unconsciously, she pulls out her phone. Her message to Chisato from hours prior remains on Read, unanswered and uncared for. She feels her spirit sink at the consideration of such a thought.

_Chii-chan…_

She closes her eyes for a moment before typing another message.

* * *

Memories spring forth, unbidden.

_Chii-chan! Chii-chaaaan!_

_What’s the matter, Kao-chan?_

_L-Leon licked me all over the face! Am I gonna get sick?_

_Heheh, no, silly! That just means he loves you._

_Oh… do people in love lick each other on the face?_

_No, Kao-chan, that’s just dogs._

_What do people do, then?_

_Lots of things. Like hugs._

_Oh. C…Can I hug you, Chii-chan?_

_Of course, Kao-chan!_

Sweet memories. Which make them all the more painful.

_Ah-!_

_Chii-chan…! Did you cut yourself?_

_Huh? Oh, don’t worry! I was just trying to cut up an apple._

_B-But… d-d-doesn’t it hurt? It *hic* does, d-doesn’t it?_

_Don’t cry, Kao-chan! I’ll be fine._

_L-Let me get you a bandage, at least! My mom keeps them in the medicine cabinet!_

_Thank you. I’ll make sure to cut an apple up for you, too._

_B-But won’t you hurt yourself again?_

_I’ll be careful. Don’t worry._

Like the tides they roll in and out, coming and going with spontaneity.

_Chii-chan… are you still awake?_

_Mmhmm._

_Do you see the stars?_

_Mmhmm._

_They’re really pretty, aren’t they…_

_Mmhmm._

_Hey, are you really listening?_

_Heehee, of course I am._

_W-Well, am I right?_

_Yeah. The stars are beautiful._

_…_

_Kao-chan?_

_Y-Yeah?_

_Do you think… I can be as bright as one of those stars, someday?_

_What do you mean, Chii-chan? You’re… you’re already brighter than all the stars in the whole sky!_

_Kao-chan…_

_I-It’s true! I mean it!_

_Hehe… thank you._

_…Hey, Chii-chan?_

_What is it?_

_Can… Can I shine as bright as you someday?_

_Oh, Kao-chan… I’m sure you will._

Waving. Lapping. Crashing against the shoreline.

_Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!_

_K-Kao-chan… please, don’t cry…_

_W-W-We’re never gonna see each other again, th-though! You’re going away!_

_…_

_Ch-Chii-chan… why? Why do you have to leave? I… I…_

_…Kao-chan. I want you to promise me something._

_Wh-What is it?_

_Someday… we’ll meet again. I know it. So until that day comes… please keep being the kind, gentle, wonderful Kao-chan that I know, okay?_

_Chii-chan… I… *sniff*_

_There, there. It’s okay. I’m not going to–_

_Pr-Promise me too!_

_Huh?_

_Promise me… that you’ll also keep being the kind, gentle, wonderful Chii-chan that **I** know!_

_…_

_Please… please._

_……Okay. It’s a promise._

A promise she could never keep.

After all, just like the elegant, pristine, dazzling Chisato Shirasagi that everyone saw…

The kind, gentle, wonderful Chii-chan from back then was also just a mask.

* * *

The gentle ring of her alarm wakens her.

She raises her head from her desk, blinking rapidly to dispel the fog from her vision. A sheet of music clings to her cheek as she rises, prying itself off as she sits upright. She fell asleep here? She must have been careless and dozed off in the middle of taking notes… just desserts for her playing loose with her schedule, she supposes. Now that she had slept improperly she’d have to spend twice as long preening herself in order to appear presentable, only exacerbating her scheduling conflicts. Such is the duty the mask demands of her: there is no time for whoever lies beneath.

Stifling a yawn – and double checking outside the window to make sure there’s no paparazzi invading her privacy – she paces towards the bathroom to compose and dress herself. Between makeup, brushing her hair, choosing an outfit, and practicing her expression, it takes quite a bit longer than she would hope for. As she brushes her teeth, she opens her phone, expecting the usual cavalcade of business emails to attend to – only stare at the first item on the list:

> Kaoru: Chii-chan.

The message consisting solely of her childhood nickname gives her pause.

> Kaoru: My dear, sweet friend… I feel as if our conversation yesterday took an ill turn. I meant no offense to you, truly. I would like to meet again so that we can reconcile, and so I may speak more honestly this time. This is all I ask. Thank you.

She resists the urge to frown. Even though a strain of the usual floridity remains, there’s a certain sincerity that’s unusual for Kaoru’s usual messaging habits.

Perhaps… she means it, this time.

And with that glimmer of a chance, she can’t help but take it.

> Chisato: When and where?

* * *

Kaoru finds herself at Hazawa Coffee that afternoon, reserving a lovely table right by the southern windows. She traveled the whole way here in a cap and surgical mask – like a bona fide celebrity – so as not to attract attention. Even now, however, a few wayward kittens shoot her moon-eyes from across the café, which she cannot help but reciprocate. It would surely break their hearts if their idol were to shun them, would it not? It’s the least she can manage… even as she watches over her shoulder for Chisato’s appearance with wary eyes.

Oh, Chisato… Kaoru’s eyes remained affixed to Kokoro’s ceiling all night, lost in thought over her predicament. In truth, they haven’t been on the most amicable of terms ever since reuniting in high school… though Kaoru’s heart (and words) fill with mellifluousness every time Chisato passes by, she isn’t sure the same can be said for her. How often does she attempt to excuse herself early from their encounters? How often does her smiles and nods and laughs ring hollow? How often does she stare into Kaoru with something resembling contempt? She doesn’t understand. All she’s ever offered was love, no?

She sees the same kittens from earlier, now looking over with anxious expressions. She flashes another wink in their direction, showing off her pearly whites at the same time – yes, such woebegone dismay hardly fits her. She should have more confidence: her feelings are true. Her heart is strong. And Chisato is one of the most intelligent women she’s ever known. Surely they would reach some sort of mutual understanding sooner rather than later.

So it is with this newfound optimism that she smirks gallantly when Chisato finally enters and sits before her, readying the words and actions she prepared just for this occasion. “Ah, my dear Chisato. So good to see you.”

Chisato’s grin is small. Smooth. Plastic. “Good day, Kaoru. You are alone, today?”

It’s a great struggle to ignore the waving fans in her periphery. “Yes, of course. I know this is a public place, so you cannot be as relaxed as you would like…”

“It’s alright,” says Chisato, shaking her head. “I’m not discomforted in the least.”

“Truly? I’m glad.” She motions to the counter. “Perhaps you’d like to order before we discuss further?”

“I’m fine,” says Chisato. “I don’t have long to spare, anyway.”

Of course. Kaoru must make the most of their time – but more concerning than her own feelings is Chisato’s well-being. “How are you?”

“Well.”

“What sort of affairs do you have today?”

“Many.”

“How do you feel right now?”

“Good.”

Hmm. Such guardedness is unusual, even for her. But if she truly didn’t wish to be here, then she wouldn’t have come. “You know you may speak to me about anything, Chisato.”

“Of course.” The corners of her mouth lift higher. “That’s what friends are for, is it not?”

“And surely you have troubles.”

“Just as surely as you do.”

There’s something about the way Chisato’s fingers dance around the table that concerns Kaoru. “Did… something happen yesterday? After we parted?”

“Hm? Nothing, really.” Chisato’s fingers stop tapping. “Although Maya did tell me of your next production.”

Kaoru’s face lightens. “Ah! _The Stars Cross…_ I’m sure you remember it as well as I do, if not better. It will be a most magnificent rendition, I assure you.”

Smile. “Yes. Of course.”

“…And?”

“And what?”

It’s Kaoru’s turn for her fingers to tap. “Did Maya say anything else of it?”

“You’re referring to your desire to cast me as Estelle?”

Her blood coagulates at the sharpness of the response.

“I politely declined,” Chisato continues. “My apologies, Kaoru. I simply lack the time.”

“Ah… yes, well…” A cough. “Understandable.”

The silence is thick enough to touch.

“Chisato…”

“Yes? Is there more?”

It takes all of Kaoru’s effort not to appear crestfallen. “About our words when last we spoke…”

Smile. “It’s alright, Kaoru. We simply got a little heated. That’s all.”

Kaoru shakes her head. “No – I’ve erred. Our interaction yesterday was most ill-advised, considering our history… you came in at an inopportune time, and I was not able to express myself with due propriety.”

“Oh?” Chisato leans in. “Tell me how you really feel, then.”

Kaoru rights herself, just as she always does before she steps upon the stage. Making sure the curl of her hair swoops just right, and that the glimmer of the light reflects off of her smile at the correct angle, and that her eyes simmer with the correct amount of smoldering sentiment… she pulls out a bouquet of yellow roses.

Chisato’s smile turns into a blank stare.

“Oh long have I searched for words, and how often they do fail me…” Kaoru chuckles weakly. “Alas, a symbol is a far more effective showing, is it not? Though I’m sure I need not explain the meaning to one as cultured as yourself…” She extends the bouquet. “No matter. A token of my affection, if you’d please.”

Chisato continues to say nothing, unmoving.

“Oh my… have I caught you breathless?” Kaoru can’t help but chuckle. “Perhaps I should have prepared more poetry after all… of course, it is difficult to compose when I am so enamored by thy sublimity… you look as if you slept upon a bed made of pure light, your visage is so radiant. And how I long to hear your laugh, pealing from your lungs like the bells of Notre Dame… why, it would fill me with a most fleeting happiness.”

Usually such comments provoke something out of Chisato – a polite chuckle, a tired eye roll, perhaps even a scoff. But now… she gazes, unblinking.

“…Chisato?”

Silence. The chatter of the café fills their eardrums. Until slowly, finally…

A smile.

“Is this all, then?”

The simplicity of her words belie the cutting tone in which they’re delivered.

“Flowers and fancy? Gallant grins? A speech so cliché I’ve heard it a thousand times before?” Her laughter is low and empty. “You told me you’d be honest, Kaoru.”

She feels the confidence run away from her face. “I… speak only the truth, my friend.”

“Truth?” Chisato shakes her head. “Do not try to play the prince in a masquerade, _friend._ I know you for the simpering little fawn you truly are… isn’t that right, Kao-chan?”

The name sends the hairs on the back of her neck alight, but she remains composed. “Chii-chan… how many times must I tell you? This is me. This is who I am.”

“Truly? This doddering, sparkling old ponce is Kaoru Seta?” Her booming laughter is enough to draw eyes from other café-goers. “What richness you tell! All I would have to do is speak of a specter or a cliffside and you’d grow paler than the ghosts you fear.”

“Chii-chan…”

“I know your mask, Kaoru,” Chisato continues. “The confidence, the poise, the regality… oh, I know it better than anyone else in this world. And that’s why I know what lies beneath.”

“And what’s beneath is some ‘true self’?” asks Kaoru. “The Kao-chan you knew in elementary school? Is that what you claim?”

Chisato stares at her, the smile slowly fading from her lips.

“Chisato…” Kaoru brings a hand to her chest. “Kao-chan is here. Just as Kaoru Seta is. And just as Chii-chan and Chisato Shirasagi lie within you. I know this to be true.”

“…No. You’re wrong.”

For the first time in her life, Kaoru sees Chisato’s true grimace.

“Every word you speak is a lie.”

_beedleDeedleBeedleDeedledee_

_beedleDeedleBeedleDeedledee_

_DeedlebeedledeedleBeedlebee_

_DeedlebeedledeedleBeedlebee_

Their phones ring simultaneously. Their gazes fall at once. Upon their screens lies the same image – a black drawing of a bear inside a moon, rotating counter-clockwise, accompanied by text.

_And it shall be bestowed upon you: the star you have longed for._

Their gazes look up from their screens, and lock eyes with one another, realizing in that moment

that the stage of destiny is set.


	4. Chapter 4

The school hallways are quiet. Unpopulated. Filled with quiet light from the evening sun. In the midst of one corridor, in a nook nobody pays any thought, is a little door.

She enters.

The hiss and groan of pulleys sounds in her eardrums.

Heat rises as she descends, the single fluorescent light blinking above her scalp.

Whirrs.

Clanks.

Voices.

She closes her eyes.

The descent quickens.

Far below, conveyor belts and well-oiled machines work in perfect tandem to craft the tools of her desire. Draperies fall upon a boudoir filled with every cloth and accessory imaginable. Steam hisses as bronze is shaped into buttons. Needles thread stitches across uniforms of aspiration. She feels the brilliance coalesce on her all at once – the comfort of a costume, the blush of makeup, the handle of a sword – as the chorus grows louder and louder in her ears, heralding the fall of stars to the earth. The world within her shut eyes reddens until she sees nothing but the color of love, hot and burning and all-consuming as three words fall from her lips:

“I am reborn.”

* * *

The curtain rises.

As the velveteen shutters lift to reveal the stage, a pink bear watches from the stands.

“All who take the stage don masks of sorts. And yet, so many carry those same masks into their daily lives, confusing where the persona ends and the person begins… what is it like to bear with such identity crises?” The creature blinks. “What a heavy load it must be… ah… everything in moderation~.”

Spotlights ripple across the edge of the stage. At the end of the runway leading up to it stands a prince.

“Here stands such a person…” the bear continues. “A jester bearing the crown of royalty. She thinks herself a cavalier, but her heart is as tender as a newborn foal. Yet such a façade still gleams upon the stage.”

The prince stands tall and proud, draped in vestments of royal blue. The shimmer of her silver fastenings contrasts beautifully with her regal gold epaulettes, tassels flittering in the nonexistent breeze. Her cape lays loosely upon one shoulder, hung up solely by the rope that curls around her neck. Her smile is sharp and brilliant as she hoists her saber. “From a brilliant past, and on towards the shining future…” The unsharpened edge of her blade lies against her chin before she dismisses it with a flourish. “The Prince of Haneoka High School, Kaoru Seta, takes the stage!”

Backlights.

A castle stands before her. One made of galaxies and glitter, dreams and daytime, skies and starlight. Only its clearly a falsity – the material was clearly made of plastic and Styrofoam, the paint was thin, the wooden support beams are in the open for all to see. It’s not a prop set of a castle – it’s a prop set _of a prop set_ of a castle. An imitation of an imitation. From its balcony adorned with countless yellow roses steps out a princess.

“Meanwhile, this one…” muses the bear. “She bears the posture of royalty, but it cannot be said what lies underneath. Her refinement comes not out of her own will, but of her obligation… can it truly be called her own?”

The princess looks out over the balustrade: clothed in the deepest, most luxurious red, deeper than any desire. The golden buttons that line her uniform glint with each sway, a deeper hue than the yellow straps that line her shoulders. Her own cape billows, the edges of its fur lining bristling against her arm as her fingers graze the thread holding the cloak up. Her smile is stalwart and smooth as she raises her rapier. “In order to preserve my place…” The point of her sword lies aloft before cutting in a z-shape down to the ground. “The Princess of Hanasakigawa High School, Chisato Shirasagi, stands before you!”

Kaoru strides before the balcony with a dignified poise. “Ah, my Juliet… alighting like the light of the east. Has the dawn ever known your eyes, so resplendent in their orbs? It would be jealous at the sight.”

Chisato chuckles. “If I am Juliet, then I suppose you imagine yourself to be Romeo, then?”

“But of course,” says Kaoru, bowing humbly. “Come with me, and we’ll abscond to a far-off country, away from the weight of a crown, where we can live in kind peace and blissful contentment.”

“How sweet of you to assume I’m the damsel in distress, locked away in a keep by a fearsome drake…” Chisato shakes her head, pointing her rapier at Kaoru’s heart. “But you’ve made a grave mistake – for I am not the meek princess whose only weapon is kindness, but the ravenous dragon that hoards her.”

Kaoru readies her own sword. “So be it. I will strike that draconic virus from your heart, if only so you can see your beautiful visage by the pool’s reflection.”

“Do you wish to sweep me off my feet like the _dashing_ soul you are?” Another laugh. “I’ll be the one ripping the mask from your eyes, my dear Kao-chan.”

From the audience seat, the bear raises its head. “Which pretense will hold? Which stage will be seen? Whose brilliance – however borrowed – will outshine the other’s?”

Rose petals, like sunshine in the night, flit through the air between the two stage girls. Their stances are postured and ready. They breathe in deeply, ready their voices, and sing.

**_Kao & Chi:_ **

**_The stars cross in the heavens_ **

**_And souls fall from the sky_ **

**_The Earth turns to ashes_ **

**_And the truth, to lies_ **

****

### { Revue of Self }

From her balcony, Chisato steps off the railing and leaps down, plunging her sword towards Kaoru, their blades clashing midair.

_Chi:_

_You, who I knew of ages past_

_No longer stands before me_

_Hidden away in a dark jail cell_

_Yet my words now hold the key_

With a press of her saber, Kaoru pushes Chisato away, who lands on her feet with catlike balance. She wastes no time in thrusting back forward, her fencing stance lithe as she darts her foil around with sharp precision. Kaoru weaves between each strike, using her saber as a bolster to parry the odd blow that wanders too close.

“Where’s your bluster now, Kaoru?” asks Chisato, still smiling. “We’ve just begun, and you’re already on the defensive.”

Kaoru manages a chortle as she offers a testy swipe that misses Chisato’s frame by a good meter. “Forgive me, my dear, but I have difficulty battling when there is a risk I might harm your darling figure.”

Chisato’s smile fades at the remark as she dives forward with an embellished thrust, forcing Kaoru to roll to the side. “Sparing time for idle flirtations now? How long do you intend to keep up this charade?”

**Kao:**

**You, who I cherished in time gone by**

**Still shine here right beside me**

**It’s clear as day, as bright as sun,**

**As plain as ever I’ll see**

Kaoru leaps to her feet, which land with a crinkle – they’ve ended up in the castle garden, a place of cardboard camellias and papier-mâché posies. She has little time to take in her surroundings before Chisato is upon her again, missing her arm by centimeters as her rapier sinks into a rosebush made of rubbish. She’s forced to let go as Kaoru slashes towards her, stepping between the discarded sword and her unarmed figure.

_Does your heart still beat within?_

**Do see yourself in the mirror?**

_Can common sense ever win?_

**I’ll fight until it’s clearer.**

“Please, Chisato,” Kaoru pleads, raising her sword into a salute. “We do not need to engage in such conflict. All you need to do is open your eyes.”

“My eyes have always been open,” Chisato claims, strafing in slow, measured steps as she sizes up the distance between herself, her weapon, and Kaoru. “It’s you who blinds yourself to your own pretenses. Even now, you make a show of yourself, like an actor before the eyes of the world.”

“…All the world’s a stage, and the men and women merely players.”

_“Exactly,”_ says Chisato, before grabbing a fistful of confetti carnations and tossing them in Kaoru’s eyes. The blue-clad prince is momentarily blinded, giving Chisato the split-second necessary to run past her and retrieve her rapier, turning and swiping in a clean motion towards Kaoru’s lapel, only to be blocked at the last second by a silver saber.

_I strike_

**I pray**

**_So you believe_ **

That I

**That you**

**_Are what you see_ **

Kaoru stares down the determined face of her childhood friend, clutching one eye in her hand as her sword-holding grip shakes. “Chisato… why can’t you understand? This is me! Just as you are you!”

“Quiet!” Chisato barks, kicking her away. Kaoru is barely able to ground herself before facing… not another flurry of stabs, but Chisato standing silently, rapier dangling by her side. “I can’t stand such deception, Kaoru. It aches. In such a way that you scarcely understand.”

“No, I do,” says Kaoru. “To feel the sense of betrayal wounds deeply. I know this.”

Chisato laughs and shakes her head. “Betrayal…? If only it were so simple.”

_In the labyrinth of my reflection_ **(Ariadne calls to me)**

_I seek the truth at the center_ **(Is this what you’re supposed to be?)**

She thrusts forward, driving Kaoru back out of the garden. Not content to simply take the blows, Kaoru begins to deflect each swipe, searching for an opportunity to strike even as she continues to be pushed away. The clang of each parry produces sparks and shrills sharper than blades.

_No princess but a minotaur_ **(The thread of red will set you free)**

_For Theseus has long left Crete_ **(I’ll sail with you across the sea)**

“If you think I have been false, then I express the deepest regrets from the bottom of my heart,” says Kaoru. “I do not mean to make you believe in an untrue version of myself.”

Chisato says nothing. She simply scowls further as she keeps pressing forward.

Kaoru suddenly finds her back against a wall – they’ve returned to the castle. She has just enough time to process their new location before ducking beneath Chisato’s lunge, somersaulting with a loose grip and slashing high and wide as she rises to her feet. She misses Chisato and instead hits the façade, tearing a huge hole in the cardboard construction.

**_The stars fall to earth_ **

**_And burn in the sky_ **

**_Inviting despair_ **

**_And lookers to pry_ **

For a moment, they’re both still, their weapons planted firmly in the wall. And then, Chisato smiles once more.

“Don’t you see, Kaoru?” She giggles weakly. “How easily it bends and breaks…

A distant cracking thunders.

“…And shatters.”

The castle wall teeters over before collapsing, sending dust and debris everywhere.

Kaoru holds a hand to her face as the rubble settles, her ears – and body – still vibrating from the quaking thud that shook all around her. She lowers her arm to see what lies within the castle’s interior as the dust settles…

…Only to lay eyes upon a hundred different Chisatos.

Like an army of mannequins they remain frozen in place all around the room, each in various positions – some standing, some sitting, some running, some laughing. Their outfits come in dozens of different varieties – some bear the same revue outfit Chisato currently wears, others are donned in a variety of costumes for roles she’s carried out throughout the years, and yet more are dressed in casual everyday outfits. Despite infinitely different subtleties in their expressions – whether amused, or jovial, or muted, or knowing, or kind – they all wear the same smile.

Kaoru’s eyes track to the room’s fringes. Dozens of cameras line the walls, hooked up to sound equipment. Formless models manned the equipment, lacking in all features: save eyes, directed solely on the throng of Chisatos all about the center of the room. Despite the intense, blinding light above, the personae before her cast no shadows.

For the first time, she feels something truly deep and sorrowful stir within her heart.

_I who have more faces than Janus_

_Cannot be seen for what I am_

_All that’s known for all the world_

_Is this sickeningly sweet madame_

Kaoru steps lightly among the Chisatos, her eyes jumping from figure to figure, surveying each outfit and expression with a hawkeyed observance.

“Do you see them, Kao-chan?”

She doesn’t respond.

“An infinite number of roles, characters, faces… yet they all bear the same name.”

Step. Step.

“The name that dictates their very destiny.”

Kaoru walks before the eyes of the true Chisato, who watches with an unblinking – unmoving – gaze, the basket of her rapier hiding her mouth.

“No matter the occasion… they cannot discard that name. For to do so is to do away with their entire identity.”

Kaoru stops.

Chisato smirks with hidden lips. “Can you really find your beloved Chii-chan amongst this mob? Can you even be sure she’s here at all?”

On the edges of her vision, Kaoru… chuckles. “Chisato… I may be a fool. But…” She rights her sword. “I am not blind.”

And then, with one florid sweep, she strikes straight at Chisato’s chest. If Chisato’s sword hadn’t been held right over her sternum, her cape would have fallen in an instant.

**I who bear with both humor and tragedy**

**Of both Thalia and Melpomene**

**Bare all before such sorrowful gaze**

**For this is who I shall be**

Kaoru’s smirk widens as their swords lock once more. “These may all be wonderful iterations of the Chisato I adore… however…” She clears the bangs from her eyes. “There is only one who shines in the present moment.”

Chisato grits her teeth and shoves her back before swinging wide, her blade knocking into five different versions of herself. They all shatter upon the ground like porcelain as she charges.

**_Id:_ **

_a useless base proclivity /_ **a voice to nurture kind**

**_Ego:_ **

_a check upon your pride /_ **a cautionary guide**

**_Superego:_ **

_the determiner of life /_ **a bark to staunchly fight**

**_My words have_ (** _always /_ **never) _lied_**

Chisato’s strikes are less precise and more ferocious now, arcing wildly from side to side. Figure after figure falls – the Chisato at tea time, the Chisato acting as a young artist, the Chisato frozen in the present moment. And yet the “true” her pays little attention to the imitations she destroys, striking and striking and striking with such relentless that Kaoru’s face turns aghast at the destruction, their paths covered with discarded shards of self.

“Are you truly one to be so careless?” called Kaoru. “You should not hurt yourself so brazenly!”

“Hurt myself?” Chisato stifles a laugh. “How truly foolish of you to assume as such.”

She clears a large horizontal swipe around herself, downing the rest of the mannequins. Kaoru leaps back towards the wall, her arm brushing against it – only to feel a pliant surface.

Chisato looks at Kaoru’s curious expression and stops, smiling. “Do you feel it? The paper-thin surface? The veneer so thin that the wind could shatter it?”

Kaoru’s eyes dart back to hers.

“Go on.” Chisato motions. “See what lurks deeper within the castle. See what the throne room looks like. See the true face of the one you care for so deeply.”

Her cheer tone is disarming. But Kaoru doesn’t let herself be fazed. With a steadying breath, she cuts through the wafer of a façade to find:

Nothing.

Nothing upon nothing.

A blank void of stark white, without beginning or end.

**_I tear up inside_ **

**_Through happiness and pain_ **

**_When all the stars have fallen_ **

**_What yet will remain?_ **

She turns to see Chisato. The studio of mannequins has disappeared. This emptiness is all that remains. Upon her face is the thinnest beam in all the world.

“Do you understand, now?”

She raises her blade.

“Without the name of Chisato Shirasagi… there is nothing.”

Kaoru lowers her stance.

“My entire existence is a mask. A masquerade to entertain the masses. The person beneath… doesn’t even exist.”

“Chisato…”

Laughter, dry and weak. “I am a dreamless being. Without hopes, wishes, or desires. If all forms of me are me, as you say…” She charges forward, her grin breaking into a grimace. “Then my true self doesn’t exist!”

Another clash. With no objects to hide and dark around, they’re forced to confront each other head-on, the sound of their clangs reverberating across the empty infinity. Kaoru can do little but steel herself against the onslaught, feeling Chisato’s razor-thin rapier carry far more weight than it should. She attempts to stand her ground, but her stance falters.

_Tell me who I am_

“You should know, shouldn’t you?” asks Chisato, striking with every second. “You bear the same weight! The same mask, every day!”

_Tell me what I should be_

“You must feel it, too! The sensation that you’re not yourself! That you have no existence beyond that of how others perceive you!”

_If the stars all fall…_

“You adopted this lifestyle… just as I did! You donned this mask to hide your fears … just as I did! You pretended to be something more than you are… just as I did!”

_Will you still love me?_

_“Even though you were the one person I never wanted that to happen to!”_

She raises her rapier aloft, and strikes true.

Kaoru’s saber is flung away, landing before her with a clatter; Chisato stomps upon it with a heel as Kaoru falls to the ground, disarmed.

The silhouette of the rapier lines up straight with the false prince’s sternum.

There is no emotion in the mask.

“…It hurts, doesn’t it, Kao-chan?” Her voice rings softly in the emptiness. “To play the great pretender? To always deny your true self? After all… _you_ have a self, deep down.”

Kaoru’s face darkens, her lips unmoving.

Chisato walks closer, each step echoing as she comes to stand atop Kaoru. Her sword glides towards the thread holding Kaoru’s cape aloft, brushing against it and tearing the smallest of strands… before sliding onward, the point of her sword pushing against Kaoru’s chin. A trickle of blood flows down her neck.

Smile.

“Aren’t you afraid, Kao-chan?” asks Chisato, with intended teasing. “I know you… the real you… always crying, and timid, and laughing… I loved that you, you know. Not this fake prince before me. She was sweet, and gentle, and kind. Not a liar or deceiver.”

Silence.

“…Go on, then.” Chisato lifts Kaoru’s chin with the tip of her blade, her voice cracking. “Show me the real you. The scared, fragile Kao-chan I know… so that I can be reassured. That you’re not really gone. That you’re still there for me, after all these years.” Her smile trembles. “Please… tell me.”

She can hear nothing. Not even the sound of blood pumping in her ears, or of oxygen moving in and out of her lungs. Every cell of her body is fixated on the person before her waiting with bated breath.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

“…What do you wish for me to say?”

Kaoru’s voice is low. Soft. Her unkempt, sweat-soaked hair covers her eyes.

“That I am not what I am? That the Kaoru Seta before you is a lie?”

Chisato doesn’t move.

“Or… that this isn’t you? That this monstrous, vindictive woman cannot possibly be the Chisato Shirasagi I love?”

A hand clenches tightly.

“Because I’ll say neither. For you and I… are as we always have been.”

…She wants to laugh. But no sound escapes her throat. “How can you say that, after all you’ve seen? It’s as I told you – I’m nothing.”

“That’s not true.”

“Of course it is.” The smile tightens. “All I am is a name. There is no me underneath this mask.

Kaoru’s head pulls back, revealing eyes soaked red with tears.

_“Then why are you crying right now, Chii-chan?!”_

The mask shatters.

Behind her, in the nothingness… an orange rose blooms.

She feels for her cheek. It’s wet. Wet? That can’t be right. She… She’s…

**The stars will never fall**

“I’ve always known…”

**They cross above our heads**

“Just how hard you work.”

**They hang up in the sky**

“ Just how much you keep pent up inside so that nobody can see.”

**Their tears have long been shed**

“Just how much strain you put on yourself, just to maintain your image… but to do all that, just for the sake of others… don’t you see how strong you are?”

Strong? No, she was weak… as cowed and bloodless as a sheet of blank paper. She had no will. Every action she’d ever taken was for the sake of her image. Who would dare consider that strength?

“You said… I was sweet, and gentle, and kind…” Kaoru shakes her head. “But I only knew those qualities because I saw them in you… you, who became my friend when no one else would… who laughed and sang and comforted me whenever I was afraid. And I knew from the moment I saw you years later, after we’d both grow into fine young women… that you were still that wonderful Chii-chan I adored. Even if you didn’t recognize me, I recognized you. And I saw that kindness again and again, in all the people you loved.”

“No…” murmured Chisato, her sword limp at her side. “You’re… you’re wrong… there’s nothing within me. No kindness, no gentility, no–”

_Chisato-chan is a dear friend of mine._

The unexpected voice draws her head. “K-Kanon?”

There’s nobody else in their vicinity. Simply flowers, sprouting up one after another by her feet, whispering sweet praises.

_She’s kind, and considerate, and I… I think she’s absolutely wonderful. She’s… she’s the nicest person I’ve ever known. I just wish I could tell her that more often._

No… Chisato had only a tenth of Kanon’s compassion. Kanon was always the one there to listen to her woes. Kanon was–

_Chisato-chan is a big reason I’m still an idol!_

Aya’s voice draws her gaze.

_I’m clumsy, and no-good, and always mess up… but whenever I do, she’s there to motivate me onward! She… She believes in me, even if I don’t believe in myself!_

“Aya-chan…”

More voices grow beneath her.

_Chisato-chan is one of the most boppin’ girls I know! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything faze her! Even those hardnosed producers can’t seem to get an inch on her when it comes to talking. And I’ve never seen someone’s smile look so intimidating!_

_Chisato-san can be a little stringent, sometimes… she’s always telling me to do a better job washing my hair and cleaning my face… but I can tell it’s because she cares, you know? And she can be really fun and lively, huhehe… I care about her a lot._

_Chisato-san is the strongest warrior I know! She faces every task before her with the utmost courage and conviction! I think, better than almost anyone else I know, she emblemizes the virtues of bushido – heroic courage, duty, and benevolence!_

_Chisato-senpai…!_

_Shirasagi-san…!_

_Chisa-senpai…!_

_Chisato-san…!_

_Chisato-chan…!_

On and on they blossom, until fields upon fields of roses lie within her vision, each as bright and healthy as the next. Her rapier falls onto a bed of flowers, her hair and cape billowing in the gentle breeze as the blue sky stretches overhead.

Kaoru wipes her tears as she stands up. “Don’t you see, Chii-chan?” She smiles. “They all care about you so much. More than you may ever know.”

“…No.” Chisato’s fists shake. “Th-They don’t know… th-the Chisato they claim to love isn’t… isn’t…!”

“Isn’t real?” Kaoru chokes. “Tell me, Chii-chan… where is ‘deep down?’ Where is this falsity to claim? Isn’t there just your actions?”

“I… You…”

“We are what we do,” Kaoru continues. “And what you do… is of the utmost kindness.”

Chisato can do nothing but bite her lip so hard it begins to tear.

Kaoru steps toward her, kicking her saber aside on the way. “You inspire so many every day, not because of some carefully curtailed image – but because you are your generous, loving self! And I will profess it to you for a thousand years if that’s how long it takes for you to understand!”

“Stop it!” Chisato turns back towards her, water spilling from her eyelids. “You… you’re just blustering, like you always do now…”

“Chii-chan…”

She falters. “K-Kao-chan…” A hiccup. “I don’t understand. Is it really you? It can’t be… it can’t…”

Kaoru looks down, her expression somber. Slowly, gingerly, she takes Chisato’s hand and lays it upon her own bosom.

“K-Kao-chan?”

Kaoru smiles. “Tell me, Chii-chan – do you feel my heartbeat?”

Chisato closes her eyes and concentrates. Surely enough, she can feel Kaoru’s heart thump inside of her chest. “…Y-Yes.”

“’Tis a heart that beats brave, strong, and true… and it only grew into its present state because it was inspired by you.”

“By… me?”

Kaoru nods. “I joined the theater club in middle school simply so I could better myself, and become stronger… every time I face the specter of stage fright, or the loom of an unrehearsed monologue, I would remember your bravery, and seek to model myself on it. Within years, I’d matured into the princely personage you know now.” Her eyes drift to the side. “I only wish you recognized that personage as I did yours.”

Guilt strikes her heart. “Kao-chan… no… it’s not as if I hated your bluster, it’s…” She swallows. “I… I was so afraid that you were hiding your true self out of fear. That you were pretending to be someone you’re not. That you were giving into your weakness, just as I did…”

“You have never been weak,” says Kaoru, shaking her head emphatically. “No weakling would be able to bear up with your troubles as long as you have.”

Chisato can’t believe her words. But… she wants to. And that desire is the first she’s felt in more years than she can remember.

Kaoru smiles as she looks around. “Tell me, do you recognize this place?”

Chisato follows her gaze, tracking around the green fields to rosebushes, rows of daisies, a small stream of lily pads… “It’s the park, isn’t it? The one where we played every week.”

Kaoru nods. “We would take Leon on strolls around the bend and try to catch butterflies by the riverbank. He would drag me about, even as a pup.”

Chisato manages a giggle. “He still does that to me, sometimes.”

“Truly? I haven’t seen the old dog in years – how I would love to, sometime.”

“Of course.”

She didn’t realize it before, but Chisato’s unconsciously moved closer to Kaoru. She has to look up to meet her eyes… the opposite of when they were younger. Up close it’s even more striking how much Kaoru has grown.

“…Tell me, Chii-chan” asks Kaoru, as the two continue to look out over the green. “What stage did you envision?”

“What stage…?”

“All who join the auditions have a stage they wish to see – a production they hope to manifest as the Top Star. Your presence here means you must have had some intense desire.”

Chisato’s face falls. “No… it’s like I told you. I have no dreams. Whatever stage I wish for… doesn’t exist.”

Kaoru shakes her head. “If that were the case, you wouldn’t stand here right now. I’m sure you had a more dazzling vision in mind than you can even comprehend.”

Chisato meets her eyes. “And what of you, Kaoru? What stage did you envision?”

“Ahaha… me?” She clicks her tongue and faces away. “It was a most humble thing, really…”

“Humble?” repeats Chisato lightly. “From the Kaoru Seta that exists now? Surely you jest.”

Kaoru laughs. “Perhaps my arrogance precedes me after all. Alas, my bravado is a fleeting thing…”

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Yes! Well!” She clears her throat. “You see, the reason for that is… in truth… verily…”

“Kao-chan~…”

She’s surprised at the ease with which her teasing tone comes. “I-I’m coming to the point,” Kaoru stammers. “Because… what I wanted was… was…”

Her eyes cast down and her cheeks pinken as she speaks.

“All I desired was… to share the stage with you.”

Chisato feels her own face grow flush. “You… You don’t… really?”

Kaoru nods shakily. “To stand as one, together, like we promised on that day… from the moment I began this path… that’s all I wished for.”

A smile blooms on Chisato’s face. “K-Kao-chan…”

Kaoru’s expression flattens. “So… if I’m to fell you here… then what good would my stage be?”

Something in her voice is off-putting. “Kaoru?”

She pulls away from Chisato, turning towards her right – where the rapier lies on the flower bed. She hoists the blade and, without so much as a moment of contemplation, slides it right under the thread hanging around her own neck.

Chisato’s hands cup around her face. “Kaoru, don’t–!”

“Do not feel guilt,” she interrupts, calmly. “I never envisioned myself winning this bout. You were always stronger than I am, after all.” She closes her eyes for a moment. “I’m simply glad… that I was able to reach you finally.” She raises the hilt slightly.

“Wait!”

Her cry is sharp enough to give Kaoru pause. Once she sees the standstill, Chisato makes for the saber several feet away, examining the glint of its blade.

“If I… cannot even envision the stage that I desire…” Her expression hardens. “Then what right do I have to continue on?”

“Chii-chan?”

Raising the sword vertically, Chisato glides the blade’s edge under her own thread.

The two stare each other down in the fields, the sounds of their youth echoing far in the distance.

Kaoru chuckles. “Did I not tell you? You were my Juliet all along.”

Chisato can’t help but nod. “…I suppose for my Romeo, I can stand to be a bullheaded adolescent every now and then.”

The two smile at each other with pure sincerity.

And, in one clean motion, undo the rope that holds their positions aloft.

Like stars falling to the earth, the capes ripple to the ground as the field disappears, leaving behind naught but a shower of red rose petals and two blades stuck before a T-shaped tape.

“Position Zero.”

The curtain begins to fall.

“…So we are freed from the burden of the stage, if only for a moment.” says Kaoru.

“We’ll have to don the masks again soon enough,” says Chisato.

Despite the resignation of their words, they look upon each other with sweet sincerity.

Kaoru beholds the tender, stronghearted woman before her. “…It’s you, Chii-chan.”

Chisato beholds the caring, chivalrous woman before her. “…It’s me, Kao-chan.”

They are whoever they wish to be.

And in that moment, as the wave of red begins to snuff the stage lights… they still feel the stars shining high above them, inviting them closer and closer. The storm of red petals engulfs them as they sing out those last few sorrowful notes.

**_The stars cross in heaven_ **

**_Entwined now as one_ **

**_Their trails now lead onward_ **

**_The tragedy undone_ **

****

And, right as the last trace of the stars blinks out above them, their lips meet.


	5. Chapter 5

The jackals’ den.

Chisato composes herself before walking in, as always – but she allows herself a small sigh as she takes her seat, brushing her hair aside as the hounds gaze into her with folded hands and earnest smiles.

“Shirasagi-san, good afternoon.”

“Good afternoon,” she parrots. “A short meeting today?”

“Yes – we’re simply discussing your debut single.” An ahem. “Was the song to your liking?”

Chisato stares at the assortment of sheet music in her hand, carefully lined with neat notes in red pencil on the first page or two before slowly fading into total lack of markup. “Yes, well… how do I put this…”

Five pairs of eyes look into her expectantly as she smiles.

“It’s rubbish.”

Blinks. “I’m… I’m sorry?”

“The lyrics are empty, the structure is plain, the chorus is dreary…” She shakes her head. “If people heard this kind of meaningless fluff, they’d assume that Chisato Shirasagi is an insincere, shallow pop star.”

Awkward glances. It’s been a long time since she’s seen them look so testy… it sends little tingles down her bones, she thinks. But it isn’t long before that looming presence returns. “We hired five illustrious industry songwriters. We have a big-name producer attached. We’ve spent weeks fine tuning this piece down to the smallest detail… and you call the whole thing rubbish?”

The mask fits comfortably, for once. Perhaps it’s not a mask at all. “Yes. I cannot find a single virtue in it.”

“Then what do you suggest we do?!” outbursts a previously silent man.

Chisato accepts the indignation with a cool head, leaning forward on the table as she speaks. “Simple. I’ll write it myself.”

The hyenas can’t hide their scoffs. “You? You have no songwriting experience. Are you really sure that’s a good idea?”

“What we have here is clean,” adds another. “Polished. Refined. Just as your work always is. You cannot expect to achieve this level on your own. Do you really want your image to suffer?”

Chisato taps a finger in faux-consideration. “Hmm… you’re right. I can’t imagine anything I write to be as squeaky-clean as this soapy song. However…”

She’s sure the mask is gone right now.

“…It wouldn’t be really be a song of mine, would it?”

The poise and enunciation with which she says it sends the jackals’ brows low. Indecipherable muttering skips across the opposite end of the table, before the head of the pack clears his throat.

“Very well. We’ll consider it.”

* * *

“…And that’s when Aya-chan said to herself, ‘Hey, handsome. You come around here often?’”

“I-I did not!”

“Aya-san, I was watching too… you were trying to kabedon your reflection.”

“N-No I wasn’t…”

“It’s okay, Aya-san! Self-love is very important!”

“Oough… Chisato-chaaaan! Help me!”

“It sounds more like you want to help yourself, Aya-chan. You should know that narcissism isn’t becoming of an idol.”

Everybody laughs as Aya slumps over her ice cream bowl in defeat. Chisato takes a spoonful of lemon ice cream covered with strawberries and sprinkles and puts it into her mouth, feeling the sweet and tangy flavor melt across her tongue.

“One day…” Aya mutters. “I’ll… I’ll show you all…”

“Haha, why do you sound like the corny villain from an old cartoon show?” asks Hina.

“She sounds like Oda Nobunaga in my favorite period drama!” says Eve.

Aya’s head thuds against the table. “I’m being bullied.”

Chisato pats her half-reassuringly, half-pityingly on the shoulder. “We only do it out of love, you know.”

“Th-This sounds like abuse…”

Chisato shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Aya-chan. You’re just so fun to tease.”

“Yeah,” says Hina. “Plus Chisato-chan is totally the type to do that kind of thing.”

Chisato laughs. “Oh, you think so?”

“Yeah! You’re always pushing buttons!” says Hina, cackling. “Like when you said that Eve’s an old soul for how much she likes Kurosawa movies, or told Maya her new glasses made her look ten times as smart because they’re thicker than her old ones.”

“It’s true!” Aya professed with both enthusiasm and bitterness. “It’s not just me you do it to!”

“It makes you a very lively person, Chisato-san!” says Eve. “Every conversation we have is full of fun and good humor!”

Chisato isn’t quite sure how to process this. “I didn’t realize that’s how I came across. I apologize if I ever made anyone feel bad.”

“You’re fine,” says Maya. “I don’t think I’ve seen you tease any of us as hard as you tease Kaoru-san.”

A giggle. “Well, that’s certainly true.”

Speaking of… it’s almost time. Oh well – she can spare another minute or two.

She observes Hina pointing and laughing at the ice cream moustache on Aya’s face and snaps a photo before noticing Maya is watching her. “Is something the matter?”

“Hm? Oh, uh, it’s just…” Maya smiles. “You look like you’re doing better, I guess.”

Blink. “Doing better…?”

“S-Sorry, that probably sounded kinda presumptuous.” Maya gulps. “I mean, I and everyone else have been kinda worried about you lately, but… you look good. Have you been sleeping well?”

Chisato thinks for a moment. “Hmm… perhaps that’s part of it. Although I think it’s simply that…” She beams. “…I’m just happy to be around all of you.”

A lull in the conversation strikes right before she says it, causing everyone at the table to hear her words.

“Ch-Chisato-chan…” Aya’s eyes begin welling up with tears. “Th-That makes me so happy to hear!”

“Ahaha, you made Aya-chan cry,” says Hina.

In fairness, that isn’t a hard thing to do.

“I am also happy to be here with everyone!” Eve exclaims. “We are like one wonderful family!”

“I sure never thought I’d end up here, huhehe,” Maya giggles. “But… I’m glad I did.”

Chisato’s smile shines across the table. “…Thank you, everyone.”

They all nod at her encouragingly. She can see her reflection in their eyes: clear, true, unblemished.

With a content sigh, she checks the time. “I would love to stay longer, but… I’m as busy as ever.” She stands up and slings her purse across her shoulder.

“Oh?” asked Hina. “Got a hot date?”

Two paces away, Chisato stops, turns, and winks. “Perhaps.”

The smoothness of her reply leaves Hina’s face in a perfect PogChamp – and Aya envious – for the rest of the night.

* * *

It’s vicious. Thoughtless. Barbaric.

“Ch-Chii-chan! Please! I require your assistance! It’s a most dreadful assault!”

And Chisato can’t help but laugh.

“L-Leon! Down boy, down!”

The big, hairy golden retriever pays Kaoru’s words no heed, continuing to lick every orifice of her face with his floppy red tongue. The two wrestle atop Chisato’s couch as she looks on from a nearby lounge chair

“O-Oh, what heavens! The saliva of another has met my lips, and yet it is not the one I desire! Oh, what a fleeting agony!”

Chisato is nearly doubled over in her giggles. “He’s just happy to see you! It’s been so long.”

“I-I appreciate his company just as much as you do, but there are boundaries that are not meant to be crossed!”

Chisato stifles herself as she watches for another minute before releasing her exhilaration in a deep exhale. “Sit, Leon.”

At a single word, the loyal pup listens to his master, sitting with happy pants. Kaoru is slow to sit up, her fingers mournfully caressing the slobbery surface of her cheeks. “Alas, I am felled… oh, stars above, so bright… I see thee at the end of the tunnel…”

Chisato walks over and sits next to her, poking Kaoru playfully in the side. “Yes, a dog’s tongue, truly the most fearsome weapon in all the world.”

“You understand me.” Kaoru gesticulates, her eyes crinkled with sorrow. “My body may now be riddled with all manner of bacteria… is death knocking at yonder door? Alas, only the kiss of a fair maiden can revive me.” She leans in with puckered lips.

Chisato holds a finger before Kaoru’s mouth. “Do you think I want to kiss someone whose face is covered in a fine layer of dog saliva?”

“Ah… fair point.” Kaoru half-bows. “Let the face-washing commence!”

Kaoru speeds off to the bathroom. Shaking her head with an easy grin, Chisato steps towards the kitchen to prepare a snack. She grabs a pear and a knife and begins chopping.

“You have a most illustrious supply of cosmetics, my dear!” Kaoru calls from the bathroom. “Whence did they came?”

“Daiso,” Chisato calls back.

“Truly? I thought you must have been shopping in heaven, they’re so sublime…”

Chisato once again finds herself chuckling at Kaoru’s ridiculousness, when…

A cut.

“Ah…!”

“Chisato?” Kaoru calls. “Why did you cry so sharply?”

“O-Oh, it’s nothing,” says Chisato, sucking on her thumb. “I cut myself by accident, that’s–”

Kaoru’s appearance is instantaneous. She carries a first-aid kit in her hands.

“Where does it hurt? How deep is the cut? Does it require extensive care?”

“I-It’s just a little nick, Kaoru, I’m fi–”

“Come now!” Kaoru takes her by the undamaged hand and brings her over to the couch. “We must see to it at once! We cannot risk a most dreadful infection… oh, I would perish at the thought!”

Chisato can do little but stare nonplussed as Kaoru tenderly disinfects and bandages her paper-thin wound. She looks into her grave, concerned eyes all the while, feeling her heart lighten.

“…It really is you.”

“Hm?”

Chisato’s head falls. “It’s… you, Kao-chan.”

Kaoru smirks. “Was there ever any doubt?”

“Far too much, I’m afraid.” Chisato’s voice is low and tremulous. “I’m… sorry. Even now, when I look at you as you are, I… I feel unsure.”

Kaoru gently shakes her head as she clasps Chisato’s hand in her own. “I understand. Such things take time. Do not strain yourself.”

Chisato nods. “Thank you.”

Kaoru’s hand is warm. Silky smooth. Still wet, from washing her hands. Chisato cannot remember a time where she let anyone touch her like this. She was too concerned with keeping a distance.

“…Kao-chan. Was what you said in the theater true?”

“Of course,” says Kaoru. “Need I say it a thousand times? Because I’ll gladly do so.”

Chisato wants to say that she doesn’t need that, but she isn’t sure. “I guess I’m just… unsure what there even is about myself that wasn’t constructed for somebody else. So I… need to be told of it often.”

Kaoru pulls her closer. “Think nothing of it. I’ll write a hundred thousand poems professing thy brilliance, if that’s what it takes.”

Chisato smirks as she scoots right against her. “At that rate, I’m not sure how many I’ll believe…”

“I see. Well then…” Kaoru holds up a finger. “I suppose I can spare one or two of criticism.”

Chisato scoffs. “You? With your rose-tinted eyes, I doubt you could find a single flaw in me.”

“Oh, I know one.”

Chisato is surprised. “Really?”

Kaoru approximates a glare at her. “Back in the theater, when I called you Juliet, you said you could stand to be a ‘bullheaded adolescent.’”

“What of it?”

“Juliet is no bullheaded adolescent!” Kaoru asserts. “She is a clear-eyed, pure-hearted maiden who pays no attention to silly blood feuds or the meaningless machinations of adults! She rejects the nonsensical role she is assigned to seek her love! And she cares not what society thinks of her!”

Chisato laughs and laughs. “I had no idea you took Romeo & Juliet so seriously.”

“But of course!” Kaoru cries. “After all… those same wondrous qualities of her are what make you so beautiful.”

Chisato flushes as she boops Kaoru on the nose. “See? Even when you attempt to criticize me, you come back around to compliments.”

Kaoru’s outrage turns to humor. “Perhaps that is my weakness… I am too soft; too kind.”

Chisato nestles her head against Kaoru’s chest. “There’s no such thing.”

A tender silence follows. Leon yawns and climbs aboard the sofa next to them, curling up by Chisato’s side. Kaoru takes Chisato’s palm into her own, stroking it in smooth, soft circles. Chisato presses her ear to Kaoru’s breast to listen for the heartbeat – strong, valorous, loving. She can feel Kaoru’s lithe muscles with her delicate fingers, smooth and sturdy and supple and… when did she become so big? Chisato remembered being able to cradle her like an infant in grade school. How much people can change…

…Could she change?

“…Kao-chan.”

“Mm?”

“Do you… have a dream?”

Kaoru nodded. “I professed it to you upon the revue’s stage, did I not?”

Chisato smiled softly. “You did, didn’t you… and yet, I had none.”

Kaoru shakes her head. “I told you… you do. One so grand and resplendent that you cannot even fathom it yet.”

Chisato wants to deny it. But she lets the possibility sink into her. A dream she hasn’t even realized yet…

“The day will come when you tell me of it,” says Kaoru, “and I cannot imagine the sheer awe and reverence I’ll have for your vision when that time comes. But until then… all I pray is that you find it.”

Chisato can’t manage any words. She just snuggles up closer, petting Kaoru across her shoulder.

“…Chii-chan. There’s something I would like to ask you. Something I wasn’t able to ask you before.”

“What is it?”

She can hear the breath entering and exiting Kaoru’s diaphragm. “Would you be my Estelle?”

This question she doesn’t have to consider. She already knows her answer. “Yes. But…”

“But…?”

She smiles – as Chisato Shirasagi, as Chii-chan, and as herself. “Just so long as we change the ending.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is my first real extensive KaoChisa fic, and I'm so happy to have finally written them the RevStar AU that they justly deserve... even if I feel like I barely scratched the surface of their dynamics in 20k words. I hope you all liked it!
> 
> I'd like to give special mention to both Alices (silversilky and alice_dualswordlesbian) who were each huge inspirations in writing this fic in their own way. Please check out their work if you haven't yet! silversilky has more Bandorevue content if this fic left you hungry for more.
> 
> Twitter: @DivineNoodles


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